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male
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*vengali_not
writes: How do I let go? I wrote July 15, 'I broke every rule I have' about a relationship I had had with a woman that I'd had a crush on in college some seven years ago and found last fall working in my same office building. We began hanging out together and were involved through the winter. Last June she turned and dumped me. Meanwhile she left her husband and recently finalized a divorce. She said a lot of things to me to justify her dumping me. She said I shut her out one too many times and I don't know if it was true or not. I felt shut out many times. Everyone kind enough to respond said forget about her and move on. Good advice I guess. Except I havn't stopped thinking about her since and every time I run into her, it starts all over again. I've run into her with another guy that she seems very fond of and I'm happy for her I guess, not for me mind you. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. I can't seem to hate her, I can't seem to avoid her all together. How does one completely let go of something like this? I'm afraid I'll always be in love with her and if I thought I had a prayer of ever getting her back, I probably couldn't help but hold out hope. Silly of me, I know. She is like kryptonite and me Superman. So seeing as I can't send her back to her back to the planet krypton...I can't quit my job...I can't get a labotomy...what can I do? Svengali_not
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2005): tell her how you feel see if there could be some thing there . i no am in love with some one to and never told him i see him and it all come back and am going out with some one .and now am letting go of him because am in love with this man i would love to have .but never told him i love him why i do if he could ever see the why i love him would he love me back . so tell and see .if there nothting there go on with your life. good luck
A
female
reader, krisss +, writes (31 August 2005):
I know exactly how you feel and unfortunately, I don't really have a good answer for you. I won't even tell you to move on, because sometimes you just can't.
This is all coming me from someone who has been married for 8 years, relatively a happy marriage with a child that I adore. But all those 9 years ago, the love of my life and I broke up because of the physical distance between us and now even 9 years later (I havent' seen him in 9 years) I still think of him. We have made contact twice since we've both been married in the last 8 years and everytime we get into a intense, short online relationship and each time it ends, I feel completely broken hearted.
So all I can tell you is that time will make the hurting less, I'm not sure if it will heel all wounds, or if she will ever be completely out of your head but slowly you have to get on with your life as there is no choice.
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A
female
reader, Gal With A Zest For Life +, writes (30 August 2005):
Hey. I'm afraid you will just have to get over her and move on. Find someone that truly deserves you. It seems pretty obvious that despite the attraction between you two, a proper relationship will probably never happen, and when it does, the end result is pain, from both your parts. I understand that you get a tug at the heart strings every time you see her, but just remind yourself of what has happened in the past and all the pain she's caused you. It's not worth it again. I know you won't believe me, but you'll find someone else, who truly deserves you and when you do, you'll completely forget about this other woman. After all, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I know it'll be hard to get over this woman but just remind yourself that being free of an unsatisfactory love is much better than being in a relationship that will inevitably cause pain. Good luck with everything.
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