A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Around a year and a half ago, I met a guy (my co-worker but we work different schedules so we hardly meet at work) and we started dating. We fell in love with each other...this went on for around 4 months and then I found out that he is married with a child and with another baby on the way (his then-pregnant wife read my msg on his phone and contacted me...we were both devastated and told each other the truth on the phone)After that, he texted me to apologise about him lying on his marital status. We met once after that where he told me he isn't in love with his wife and I made the mistake of sleeping with him again. Following that I told him that we should stop seeing each other as I'm no homewrecker. We go to the same places so sometimes we do see each other. When we do, it's all friendly as if nothing has ever happened between us. We both text each other on special occasions like birthdays/christmas greetings but nothing more. He asked me once to meet up for lunch but I didn't accept. I know that he's still with his wife (he showed me pics of his kids the last time we met) but am pretty sure he's cheating on her even now....he's the kind who maintains himself and looks after his body while she doesn't care for her appearance. They are both indians which means that it will be hard for them to divorce due to family pressures. My problem is , that it's been more than a year now and that although I've dated other guys and try to keep myself as busy as possible I still find myself thinking about him. I've been extremely strong in that I stopped seeing him, even though I can feel that he still wishes to go out with me. What can I do to really move on? Keeping in mind that he's no good for me isn't really helping me :S
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Zaaleena +, writes (15 November 2012):
Sadly its just going to take time. Keep reinforcing to yourself how strong you have been in not seeing him and reminding yourself that you deserve all of a person - not just half of a cheating one.
x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2012): "What can I do to really move on? Keeping in mind that he's no good for me isn't really helping me :S"
Keep in mind that he's no good fot you and really isn't helping you. He's a liar and a cheater who is also a charming, manipulative con artist who played to your ego and vanity by telling you everything you wanted to hear even though he did not sincerely mean one word of it.
You need to reclaim your brains and backbone, good judgment and common sense, self-respect and self-esteem, morals and ethics, honesty and integrity. That's why you have to move on.
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