A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Theres a guy who I've liked for ages, but he lives 3 hours away. When we do see each other (which isnt very often) we act like we're a couple, hugging, kissing, holding hands, being sweet with eachother etc. Since seeing him again in November I've fallen for him really hard and like him even more than I did before. I know he wants to join the Navy after getting his degree later on this year He has already passed the tests needed to join. This really depresses me, I really don't want him to go into it, I'm like "Why cant he get a 'normal' job, why does he have to be in the forces" but I can't exactly say anything if that is what he wants to do. I just feel that every month that passes the closer he is to joining, and the thought of that brings me to tears. I like him so much.As you can tell, we aren't together yet. I'm scared of asking him whats going on, I guess I don't want to ruin anything, or things to change. I just don't know what to do, about that and my feelings towards him going into the navy.Help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009): My now husband and I had just broken up in high school when he told me he was joining the Reserves. I still loved him (eventhough I broke up with him) and was angry knowing he would end up going to Iraq. A year later we got back together and after marrying he went Active Army. We both cried when he left for his Advanced Individual Training. It seemed like he was gone forever. He came back and things were weird for him at first but he got back to himself. I ended up moving from Ohio to Texas to be with him. Now he has been deployed for 14 months and comes home in a couple weeks. Guess where, yep Iraq. Do you see a future with him? Do you know how he feels about you? Military relationships are a lot of work and he will be gone often. Is he worth it to you?
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 January 2009):
 Talk to your guy, express your feeling and fears. If you two can not communicate openly, what do you have?
I'm an Military wife. Have been our whole marriage. It is what it is. No less no more. My husband loves his job, he good at it. There are many things I absolutely HATE about his job and being in the military, but it is what HE wanted.
It's not an easy life being a military spouse or girlfriend. But I think most of the women I know are not only proud of their men, they have come to realize that it's the right job for their man.
Who knows the Navy might not be for him. It might be all he ever wanted. It might be family traditions, it might be about honor and patriotism for him.
I know it's hard to understand, but you do not want to be the reason he later regrets and blames you for not joining.
My husband have been "overseas" AKA in war zones 3 times already and it's scary. It is natural to worry.
Check out www.navywives.com the ladies there might be able to help you answer questions you may have.
I'm DAMN proud of my man.
/salute
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009): Hi. I kinda know what it is that you must be going through. My boyfriend is two years older than me and he wants to be a fire fighter when he graduates. This scares me, but also; I have full intentions on joining the air force. Its normal for you to worry. But as far as you telling him about your feelings, i really think you should go for it. If your that worried something is going to happen to him while he is in the Navy, you better put all his options on the table before anything gets set in stone. It could possibly work out quite well for you.
Hope this helps.
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