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female
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anonymous
writes: Hiya - well ive been in love with the same man for 3 yrs now. even tho i am only 17 i feel as if i am more mature than other girls of my age e.g. i will only have sex with the man i am in love with and i am also very careful to analyse my feelings and think about what i am doing.i decided to take the first move in informing the guy that i wanted to tell him something very important and i do believe to the bottom of my heart that he likes me to because i have seen more signs than you can possibly imagine. The obvious q. is that why didnt he make the first move as guys always do? i believe it takes two people to make it happen and we have both been hurt by this situation.But my problem is that i am scared - hes cool and im not. hes popular and im notim ugly hes hothes worth it and im not etc.im letting this run my life - im believe im so boring and not worth anythingim very insecure - what do i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2006): My advice to you is to let him go. You say you have been "in love" with him for 3 years. How is this possible if you haven't been in a relationship with him? I think you might be in love with the person you think he is. I would advise you to not say anything to him and spend some time working on your self confidence. You seem to have a very negative self image. He most likely will reject you (in a nice way, hopefully) because you are already presenting yourself in a negative way. All the things you say about yourself are things he has probably already picked up on. No one will truly be able to love you and have a healthy relationship with you until you love yourself first! Find out why you don't feel you are worth loving. God made you and he loves you, why don't you love yourself?
And as far as his not making the first move...if he was interested, he would have made a move. His not making a move is his way of telling you he's just not that into you. Take his non-action as your answer.
A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (30 December 2006):
 I think you should just take the bull by the horns and ask this guy out, im sure he will jump at the chance, if he does decline then at least you know where you stand and you can move on.
good luck hun x
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (30 December 2006):
 first thing is get that out of youre head the whole im ugly thing, i feel ugly but deep down im more beautiful than anyone can imagine thats how i think and thats how you should think too. (even tho i bet ure pretty). second of all not all guys make the first move ( quiet alot are too scared to encase they were getting the wrong signals ). if you want him hunnie go tell him the worst thing he can do is say no u fall down and pick ureself back up..because honestly hunnie you dont want to regret not asking him. you only live once and their are so many fishes in the sea. its easier said than done but the heart can heal.. and hunnie being cool or popular isnt everythng, theirs a bigger picture than that, so i say you make the first move he says yes take it from their , he says no then move on ... hope it helps :S xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2006): I am very concerned here, you want to have sex with this guy and want to tell him this because you are in love with him? But because he has not made the first move you think it is because you are ugly, uncool, unpopular and boring just to name a few...
You are in no position to make as important of a decision as this to give away you virginity to a guy that you think is better than you are, you are asking to feel even worse than you do right now because you have no sense of security in this relationship, in his love for you, and worst of all you do not love yourself.
Please do not do this as you are not ready....how can you be in love with a guy that you think you are not good enough for? He may be giving you signs because he is a horny (excuse me, adolescent with raging hormones) guy, but he is not doing something right, which is letting you know how much he thinks of you or you would not be writing and bashing yourself here would you?
Landing a cool guy will not prove that you are all those things that you think you are not....having some goals for yourself and achieving them will....Do you participate in school activities, are you doing well in school? Are you working towards going to college or furthering your education? Are you learning a musical instrument, writing poetry, learning a sport? Get this guy off your mind and focus on yourself, you are too young to be going off the deep end for a boy...get back on track and learn to like you first or you won't have anything to give a fella...
Take care.
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