A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im confused about matters of the heart. First, ive been with this guy for what would be 2 yrs on the 14th. We broke up. Its been a long time coming but it still hurts to let go. We've both been horrible to each other within these 2 yrs; evrything from cheating to physical fighting. Im so confused about this because nobody knows me like he does. Hes more than my best friend, and there has to be a reason we both held on for so long enduring all the crap. But how can it work when we both hate each other? Second, this other guy. it just feels right. We both feel the same for each other, but he still confuses me. Some times i hear from him evry day, then he disappears for weeks, then he calls. Once his ex-gf called me. Now hes trying 2 take it to another level, meet his mom, but then i havent heard from him in 2 days now. I dont push him at all, so its not like i do anything to change his mind. But i know with him, i am happy, and if ever moment i wanted to live forevr, it would be with him. I know its him i want.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): Well I understand being with someone with a drinking problem I was and it always caused us to argue I think you've made the right choice in not being with him but your not over him and long distance relationships don't always work I've also tried that and it didn't go well I really think you need time to be by yourself if this guy really does like you he will understand and wait till your ready there is no rush
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn regards to the first guy, we were really young, we still are, but even more so then. We really do love each other, but he had a drinking problem and that lead to our fights, and my eventual cheating. I actually cheated with the second guy. The second guy, ive known for years, since i was 16. We've liked each other since then, but nothing ever happened until a year ago. Since then we've gotten closer. I know i love him. Its just that he lives 3 hours away & its hard 2 b together. We have seriously discussed us, but it seems its never the right time. Its driving me crazy that i can't be with him!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 January 2011):
 Well first off its not healthy having two men in your life. Therefore you need to be completely sure about who it is that you want. If it is the second guy that you want then take things slowely with him. If he doesnt contact you for a few days then you contact him, if he keeps doing it then just ask him if he is interested and that if he is you need some commitment not just him coming and going as he pleases.
As for the first guy you say you'se both loved each other but am sorry you dont cheat on someone that you love, there was obviously something wrong with the relationship when whoever it was decided to cheat. I think you should move on from this relationship because it sounds like it was unhealthy to me. Concentrate on the second guy and if that doesnt work out then take some much needed time out on your own to sort out your life independently.
Goodluck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): Ok The first guy whom you were with for 2 years you're bound to have some attachements to him if you were with him for so long! I'm guessing since your young and it was a long relationship you went though alot with eachother. Your obvioulsy going to think about everything, the memories, but if you were both physically and emotianlly violet towards eachother then you werent right together but your going to miss the relationship more than him because it had a great impact on your life. You've been in a routine for so long, with the same guy you just can't forget everything.
The second guy, you say you BOTH feel the same but how do you know? Has he told you? Because if he is ignoring you for some times he must be hiding something or just isnt ready for a full on relationship I think you should confront him about it ask why and if it isnt what your looking for then he wasnt right for you but in my opnion if you both really like eachother you should take it slowly you still need time for yourself after having just been in a long relationship
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