A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello there... I have been with my boyfriend 6 years. We have had our ups and downs. He has a really strong character. So most of our "downs" have been because of his unwilling way of not trying hard to understand. He has cheated on me several times, but I forgave him. I know deep inside he does feel something for me. I mean, 6 years are not 5 minutes, you know. 2 days ago he asked for a break, because I "don't give him enough space". I know, that he was going to meet with the woman he cheated on me 4 years ago, because i read his email. I know he is lying to me. He hasn't called, even though he said to me twice he was gonna. I can't sleep or eat because my mind is playing me not a sweet movie. I gave him all, and I mean ALL. Why would he do this to me? I'm like his wife, I cook for him, do his laundry, help him with college, with work, I am a good woman, a good lover, why would he do this? I thought he wanted to have a weekend-adventure, and it's killing me.Thanks for all the advice
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a break, cheated on me, hasn't called Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): I'm pretty sure that deep down inside you know you are on a sinking ship and no matter what you do, you cannot rescue it. You are a good woman wasting all that good loving on someone who clearly takes it for granted and on several occasions throws it back in your face. Let go love, as hard as it may be to fathom you just have to let go. The fact that he is clearly a jerk who doesn't deserve you, disrespects and disregards you often and yet you still stay says a whole lot more about you and your lack of self-esteem than it does about him. You can do better, you know you can so take that first step to loving yourself and the right one will come along who will be just as good to you as you to him, who will love you with the same amount of intensity as you do him. You'll never get that if you are being anchored down by the dead weight of this man you are currently wasting your time with. If someone wants to walk out of your life and you know you have done your best towards them and they still wanna go, then let them! They will realize sooner or later what idiots they are. He wants a break, give it to him. Don't sit by the phone, use that time to work on yourself and figure out what you want from life. This is your chance to fall in love with yourself again, to treat yourself with the type of kindness and compassion you've bestowed on him and that he is clearly unable to give. You'll be better off you'll soon see that. Goodluck hun!
A
male
reader, manonmoon  +, writes (3 April 2011):
Why punish yourself for someone else misdeeds...its clearly his fault..if you have some self respect ...move on..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): Stop trying to kill yourself over this dude..The writting is on the wall...He is not thge one for you and even if you marry him, he will notgive you the type of relationship you want ..There will always be drama this drama that....He is not that into you hun...Go find yourself someone more suitable and who actually feels an emotional connection that is real for you..Stop deceiving yourself saying you know deep down he feels something for you...What a cliche: when women say this sometimes it really means they know he doesnt love them but they are willling to deceive themselves that he does...Sorry hun...Make life easy for yourself and be honest about this relationship..It aint working, yes it hurts but you will in time get over him and find someone
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A
female
reader, marie.possa5 +, writes (2 April 2011):
Iheatwomanbeaters! Your words are beautiful! Thanks a lot!
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (2 April 2011):
 He does not see what you have to offer. He is a commitment phobe, and you equate yourself to his wife. Find someone that is a match for you. I am a good person, a freakin great lover, and would never physically or mentally abuse someone, unless they asked ;). Also, I am much better looking than most guys, yet I couldn't get the woman I wanted. Why?Because ultimately, I was not her match and she was actually not mine either. Not a big deal. Sometimes people are just not your match, partner, etc.You are a GREAT partner, but not for him. There is someone out there for all of us. What it amounts to is, are we willing to take the necessary steps to get there?
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