A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 20 and been dating a guy who's 35 for over a year now, though its a distance relationship. We still get to see each other as often as possible, he sends me ticket and I fly over to him. We are so much in love, and he treats me so nicely when ever I'm physically there together with him, introduces me to his friends and few of his family members like his younger brother and aunt. Even takes me along for lunch breaks with business partners and is very proud of me bcos of my charismatic look and the esteem of the profession I'm studying. The main problem I get to face is whenever I'm back to my place, I always I'm the one to keep in touch, I mean do the calling and the chating and messages. He replies at his will, and whenever he picks up he tells me he is busy and will call me back later, I get a million of his I'll call back but never gets his call. Quite alright, I know he is a very busy person and works really hard cos even when I'm with him he gets upto 60 emails and uncountable business calls. Another problem is that he is a divorcee, with a kid, but I have accepted that cos I love him so much and of course I love his kid, I get her presents whenever I visit him though I have just seen her in photos cos she lives with his mom in some other city. He says he loves me and wants to marry me, but I don't understand why he wouldn't keep in touch. I'm a bit affirmative he's not cheating on me, but I'm afraid what kind of girls would come around him cos he's very rich and also handsome. Well that's not my problem cos I also have features that have also attracted guys like him to me which he knows about, he knows my worth too, and respects me for the fact I don't ask him for money. And always tells me I'm a good girl and its only good for ladies to be like this. Right now, I'm so confused cos I sent him a threatening email that I'm leaving him and getting a better guy, all bcos he hasn't been keeping in touch as he promises too. I don't wanna loose him I love him so much please guys what should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question
Just wanna say thanks to u guys, and each one of u had a point I'm gonna stick to, I'm just gonna let him be, I won't contact him till whenever he does, and not with the hope things might get better, so I don't end up depressed or something. I'll give u guys a feedback if he calls me or not. Thanks for reading.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (4 November 2010):
 This is exactly why people say LDRs don't work. Because one person is keeping up the contact and putting in their effort whereas the other party isn't. It's understandable that he's busy but it takes not even 5 min out of his 60 emails and countless business calls to send a text. You have to have communication in order for a LDR to work! That's all you really have, until he sends you a plane ticket to come visit. He has the travel part down, but he can't the main foundation down. Says he wants to marry you, ok where's the ring? Seeing is believing. If the communication fails, it won't be long till the LDR fails. And it maybe he's just not cut out for a LDR due to his busy lifestyle..or he can't seem to match your efforts in this relationship because there are more important things occurring in his life. Do you want to keep being in this LDR when you're the only one struggling to maintain it?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 November 2010):
 Ok well threatning him like that was the wrong thing to do and was quite childish if you are going to threaten to leave him for another man then you are just going to push him away and he will end up leaving you, i think what you need to do here is not contact him until he contacts you and then keep doing this for a while to see how long it will be for him to keep contacting you, after a while he might actually start contacting you more because he will think that you have giving up, so leave the ball in his court dont contact him for a month or two unless he contacts you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): He's a guy. I'm the same way. I get home from work and start working on something and the world disappears. Before I know it it's midnight and I go to sleep.
The next day I get texts from my girlfriend telling me I don't communicate enough. When I'm with my girl, that's her time. I stop the world and melt with her.
The rest of the time I'm doing stuff. It doesn't mean I love her less, I'm just focused on what I'm doing and trying to make things happen. I can't make her my entire world 24x7, at least not if I want to eat and pay my rent. I have to go to work and focus on work for 8 hours. When I come home I work on my business. When I'm with her, I'm with her and she gets my full attention.
I wouldn't be too hard on him. I've had women break my heart and leave me over this, but it's who I am. I'm sorry you feel that way about him but if you really love him, accept him for who he is. If you don't love him for who he is, then yea he's not the guy for you.
Guys aren't the greatest communicators. In my case I'll probably never end up with anyone forever because of it. I can't change myself. I get one call, then the next, then another, then before I know it 5 hours have passed and I'm ready to collapse on my couch.
Considering there are guys out there with no job, alcoholics, guys that beat people, just use them for sex, ditch their girlfriend when she gets pregnant, whatever, this issue isn't really so bad when you consider the good things he has going for him and all the bad things he doesn't.
My advice is that it might be time for you to guys to move your relationship to the next level, so you can be together more often, or end it.
I have the feeling if you guys got to see each other every day this would be a non-issue.
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