A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I feel terrible, I have started what seems to be an affair type thing with someone I know has a girlfriend. I am single and we started as friends/work collegues - but now things have progressed from flirting to kissing and now more intimate, we havent slept togther, but now I feel disgusted with myself and the guilt is bringing me to tears. Why have I degraded myself so, I let this guy charm me, flirt with me and seduce me and now he is saying things like "i am so happy to have you in my life etc..." "your so sweet - the nicest person I have met" when I am with him it feels amazing, but them I feel crap afterwards when I return home - like I am being used - am I a weak individual?. Can i blame this on my depression - I am sick of always feeling guilty and down about myself? but I am starting to care for this man, I think - im so confused - he told me his current GF has cheated on him 3-4 times, throughout there 12yr relationship and that he hasnt had any passion for as long as he can remember and his self esteem is affected, but yet why does he stay with her? I dont want to break them up but if he really likes me would he be doing this with me whilst still with her? is everything as cut and dry as that?
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female
reader, 48years  +, writes (12 January 2009):
 I'd also add that yes he is very good at doing this to you and staying with her. I know a guy who's line is why have 1 when you can have 2?
A
female
reader, 48years +, writes (12 January 2009):
If he's not honest about you, he's not honest with you.
Cheats often tell new gfs that their ex cheated on them. When in reality, it was they who cheated. Please be careful - you are in danger of getting your heart broken into little bits.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): They have been together 12 years and that sounds like although he says he has no passion for her anymore sounds like he does because no one stays with someone that long with no "passion" left it sorts sounds like he is using you to get back at his gf for cheating on him. He is trying to use guilt and jealously. SO if its making you feel so horrible then stop it before you hurt yourself too bad emotional. You may be starting to care for this guy but it might just be lust. It's definitely a good idea to cut it off before you get hurt.
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