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male
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*onfusedByMyOwnHeart
writes: I use to date this girl and she cared for me more than the world, but I thought I needed to get out so I broke up with her along with breaking her heart. After a couple of months I realized I really loved her but she had moved on and didnt want to give it a chance with the new guy. So eventually I moved on but we have stayed in contact and we talk about how we still love each other. But I cant break up with my girlfriend now and I dont know why I cant. Either Im afraid of seeing her get hurt or Im afraid of doing it and realizing i dont really love my old girlfriend. But I cant sleep at night sometimes cuz I wont stop thinking about my old girlfriend. Do I trully love her and am I just wasting my time with this new girl? I am afraid I will take so long to decide I will end up losing both of them in the process. What should I do?Im going crazy
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female
reader, honey_08 +, writes (19 May 2006):
 hi! i know your confused now, but you both need a space, stop talking to eachother, and both think, specially u, bec. now u hurt two person your gf now and your ex. u need time to be alone, and think who u really love and if u found out the answer have the guts to tell one of them whats real. your the only one who can decide who's to be with in the end, you can only sleep very tight if u are with some one u love, and u can not love 2 woman at the same time.... if u always think about your ex while your in your presence gf, then maybe your not happy with your present one, bec all u think is your ex, and at the same time your being unfair to your gf, your gf also not deserve to be cheated right, so better to tell her the truth thats the only way u can sleep. yes, she will feel hurt but thats the only way u can do, to stop hurting her. you can not enjoyed eachother knowing all u think is your ex., sometimes we realize that we love someone , when we lost them, and if we have a chance to chancge everything then we must grab it. remember that no one is perfect, we can never be sure what will happen tom, but we can change everything by applying what we learn from our mistakes. so! decide who u really love, and face the reality that one of them will get hurt and be man enough to tell them in the nicest way as u can, and face whatever happen and stick to your decision..... goodluck! and i know u can do that... think and think ask for god to help u, he's the only can really help u... everything happens for a reason.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2006): hey man what the hell my advice to you is to just forget about your x and move on in life with your current, coz u see if she did it once she could do it to you again trust me. just be there for your current gal and support her in her decisions. remember "what you give is what you get"
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A
female
reader, orkney girl +, writes (27 April 2006):
hi there let me answer your question with a simalar story- I met this fella he had an 'x' we started dating, 'x' wanted him back, 'x' got him back but now I'm the bit on the side and 'X' doesn't know I'm still seeing him. He doesn't love 'X' says all the right things to me but wont leave 'X', having his cake and eating it? Possably, hiding behind someone thats 'safe' probably! As the one thats now the so called 'x' I can honestly say that if you want your x back get on with it and stop using your current girlfriend as an excuse not to take a risk. My 'lover' is too weak to decide either to stop seeing me or to end it with her and if he isn't careful I'll make the decision for him! Is that what you want your 'x' to do, make the decision for you? it's not easy to be with one you care about and be in love with another, either way someone will get hurt but it hurts more to find out they're only with you becase you don't want to hurt them rather than for love. see my point? Love should beat sympathy any day of the week.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2006): Dude, I'd say if it keeps you awake at night, it's Love. The right thing would be to break up with your current g/f as you obviously think you're taking her for a ride. If you and ur old girlfriend feel you can make it work again, give it a chance, but only if you are willing to sort out what made you break up with her in the first place. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (22 April 2006):
 Dear Reader,
yours is indeed a pressing problem. It seems here you are stuck in between two women. What you have to decide is who you want to be with more. Are you sure that your ex is who you want to be with? To be sure of your actions, you first have to be sure of the descision that comes before it.
How do you think your current partner feels about you? Do you think they feel deeply for you? How much would it hurt them if you decided your ex is the one you want? On the other hand, how would your ex feel if you stayed with your current partner?
You can't be "wasting time" with someone as you have forever and eternity to find the one you truly want to be with. There is someone for everyone, if you don't meet them in life, you'll see them on the other side. Advice passed down throughout my family. You also can't be "wasting time" with someone because you probably wouldn't be with this girl at the minute if you didn't feel something for her.
Deciding between the two is probably the only way you're gonna get some sleep. Whoever you decide to go with, let the other one down gently, do it in person and tell them not to blame themselves!!!
Good Luck, All The Best and Blessed Be,
Phoebe
xxx
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (22 April 2006):
 You are in a right pickle,arn't you? I wonder if the reason you want her back is because she has someone else? Maybe she seems more appealing,now that she is with another fella? The reason i think that is because you wont finish with your present girlfriend....but then,your ex wont finish with hers?...It all sounds a bit half hearted to me.You said that you are still in contact with her,you both told each other that you love each other,but yet none of you can finish with your partners?....so is that love after all? If you two were really that serious about each other i dont think you would be agonising over this as much.If i was you i would stop all contact with your ex,the same goes for her as well and then if both of you really cant live with each other then you will know what to do...i think both of you need space from each other,that way you can think more clearly...otherwise,while you are still speaking to each other,you are just going round in circles.
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