A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I'm an 19 year old virgin and my boyfriend is 36 years old. We have been together for 6 months and I've had lots of fun with him. The thing is...with the age gap. I keep thinking how lucky he is to have a 19 year old blonde virgin on his arm and what an ego boost. I do love him and am sure he loves me. Do you think I could be doing him an injustice? Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Doctor Elizabeth +, writes (26 March 2007):
I think you are doing yourself a grievous injustice by viewing yourself only in terms of your status as a 30-something-year-old-man's "trophy." If you really care about yourself, and if you want to hang onto this man, then you need to wake up to yourself and realize that you are more than some one-dimensional creature. No one stays interested for long in a person with only one dimension. Step out of your own self-made trap and evolve into the three-dimensional woman you were meant to be. Of course, you may be perfectly happy as a "trophy chick," and, in that case, go your way and enjoy being that way. However, one day you may wonder why no man ever stays with you for long and you'll be back here asking why men only seem to want to get a leg over and then leave you. I hope that is not the case. I hope you will evolve. I wish you the very best.Doc Liz
A
male
reader, Blue Rat +, writes (26 March 2007):
You keep thinking how lucky he is to have a 19 year old virgin (i.e. YOU) on his arm??? Wow, how big-headed are you?? You must really reckon yourself, girl. Not a nice trait. Confidence is one thing, conceit is quite another.
And seeing yourself in terms of some sort of an adornment is also pretty shallow.
Oh yes, and I expect he'll get pretty bored with having a VIRGIN on his arm soon enough, too! He's welcome to you.
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (25 March 2007):
I don't think you are doing him an injustice atal. Age gaps are only a problem if you let it.
Like Dr Pete says couples who are right for each other don't notice age gaps because they get on so well. If you like him and he likes you 17 years is not alot to be concerned about.
Good luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2007): Do you get an ego boost for being with a 36 year old experienced man? These things should work both ways. Your age and sexual experience may not be as big an ego boost as you think it is. It is quite an age gap really but it is only a problem if either of you notice it. Couples who are right for each other rarely notice age gaps because they get on so well. You say you love each other, so unless the age gap is a problem for you I suggest you not worry about doing him an "injustice".
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