A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I went on holiday back in July and an incident occurred there which, for some reason, I keep dwelling on and I'm not sure why. We have been together for nearly 1 1/2 years in a long distance relationship. Up until just before we went on holiday everything was so amazing, but since then things have drifted really badly.Anyway, we were on holiday abroad and he asked me to look after his rucksack whilst he went into a shop to buy some things. I started thinking it was taking him a long time in there (about 15 mins I think) because I had been standing outside in the heat of the day getting very hot!I walked to the shop front and saw him laughing and joking on the phone to someone, but he looked up and saw me. He looked really shocked and rushed off to the other side of the shop like some scalded cat!!! It was his reaction to me that has bothered me. It was as if I had caught him talking to someone he shouldn't be. His mother picks on him quite a lot which I think is very unfair, and I wondered if he thought I was going to react like his mother and have a go at him for taking so long. My boyfriend rarely laughs and jokes with me anymore like he did with the person on the phone so I felt a slight pang of jealousy, but I also feel hurt that he treated me like I was someone to be feared like his mother.He explained to me that he had bought some alcohol for a mate at work and he was checking to see what he wanted. I had no reason to disbelieve him, but since our relationship has continued to drift I keep wondering if there was something he isn't telling me.Just before we went away, he phoned on the day of a family meal to say that he wouldn't be coming which is something he would never have considered doing before. Being the first time he had done that, I gave him the benefit of the doubt as he was really sorry that he had let me down. Around about the time of the holiday, he started calling me more and was even complimenting me, two things that he has always struggled to do and I was so delighted with as it was such a breakthrough for him, but then things swung the other way and he started to become tetchy with me for no apparent reason and not seeming to want to see me as much. We have not had sex since March because of physical problems yet whilst at first he was really supportive of me, now it is never mentioned and he doesn't seem all that bothered that we don't have sex. All these factors lead me to think that he could be having an affair but I have no concrete proof and everyone tells me that he loves me very much.Anyway, I invited him over for dinner the other week and it was an amazing night. I thought things were on the up, but now he seems reluctant to contact me. I got one text from him last week and he replied saying he had sent me one. I had hoped that he would want to see me last weekend but he didn't and didn't share with me what he had been doing. I keep thinking he is leading a dual life, but I have no proof and everyone keeps telling me he is besotted with me and they don't think he would do such a thing.
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a break, affair, at work, jealous, long distance, on holiday, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2008): Being an American there are a couple of words in you question that I am not familiar with, but I think I have the "gist" of it. And it sounds to me that it's time for you to take an active part in the relationship.
Tell him how you are feeling and of your concerns...You have a right to know what's going on...it's your life too!
By the way my comment about the words...it wasn't a "slam" I love the way you talk. When I read questions an answers from the Brittish, I can almost hear the accent! I try to read them with the accent...not successfully I admit! lol
Good Luck with your guy! I hope it works out! The key is to communicate!
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