A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im really gonna try make this short, i was going out with this guy for about a year, we broke up + he messed me about by seeing me afterwards but sayin he doesnt 'want a relationship' but anyway, we had been broke up for about 3 months, then he came running back and it was a mistake looking back now but we got back together, promised he would change + blah blah!3 weeks down the line, he had been meetin up with other girls + flirting with them, and of course i broke up with him again! after begging for me back and me accepting him back in my life this time round tho after breaking up he didnt care at all, even though just 3 weeks before breaking up he was crying his eyes out for me back, we didnt speak for about 2 months after, so much for everythin he said to win me back before ey?i hope this is making sense, 2 months after breaking up the 2nd time we started talkin again and once again he came round my house kissing me + acting like we were together, but said like before he doesnt 'want a relationship' this upset me because he knows how much iv always loved him, and i didnt want to believe he was just usin me. but he did this for about a month. and just tonight i find out hes got another girlfriend. im just distraught at how someone could be so cruel as to use me like that as just 2 nights ago he was round my house. and the excuse for not bein with me was he didnt want a relationship :/ yes hes jumped into one already.i deleted every possible way he could talk to me because he resorted in being horrible to me and didnt understand why i was so upset? i know hes free to do what he wants but why do this to me?i just dont know what to do, i have no idea. i need advice n help cause iv loved him for so long and its so horrible to see him go without a care in the world :( what do i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2009): Well you already did the right thing, finally.
You may not have written your own title but it refers to your situation as "falling into a cylce."
But indeed, you jumped into the cycle, everytime. You let him sweet talk you every single time and what you have finally jsut done, is truely seen the light. You did what was best for you by cutting off all communication with him. And that's what you must continue to do. You have to be strong this time in your dicions to no longer communicate with him. But if you don't, then you have to blame yourself. Afterall, life is what you make it.
So just have courage, keep your eyes open to reality, and DON'T let this guy keep coming into your life. OK? you can do it..
~SY.
A
female
reader, lola16182  +, writes (23 June 2009):
This guy is an ass and he did this to you because thats what these guys do--they pick on girls that are innocent and trusting & goodhearted. Once they get to know you & learn you are a forgiving type, they will jerk you around cuz they know we will forgive again. I've been there..done that.
That whole him "not wanting a relationship" crap but still kissing u and whatnot is just a guy's way of getting all the good stuff without any responsibility
He is obviously selfish for his needs only & doesnt feel remorse hence why he had been lying to u & had a girlfriend on the side, jerked around with your feelings then dropped you like a hot potato.
Its sad that theres people in this world, but unfortunately we have to deal with it. My best way to get over it? Write out a list about EVERYTHING you didn't like about him, whether it was the way he treated you, acted towards other people, personal habits or traits that annoyed you, things he didn't have that you wanted in a guy. Then whenever you are feeling upset go and read it over and you can refuel yourself of all the good reasons why you AREN'T WITH THIS JERK ANYMORE. And props to you for deleting every method of contact--that way he can't weasel his way back in again
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