A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i keep getting back with my ex and after a few days i either get bored,or find something in his behaviour that annoys me,and i tell him to break up..and later,i regret it and do the same!how can i stop this???
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jmo  +, writes (7 March 2008):
 First of all, I pretty much agree with what everyone has said thus far. Personally, however, I think that maybe (and this could just be a long shot) you get frustrated and don't know what to do from time to time. It may have nothing t do with your feelings towards him and a lot to do with you. I had a long term relationship with a boy when I was your age and did the same thing. I would break up with him for reasons I couldn't even comprehend and then after a couple days of emotional turmoil, get back with him. Although we ended up being together for three years, the relationship was kind of rocky and in retrospect I feel that it had a lot to do with me and how I treated him. On the upside, your boyfriend is obviously very understanding and patient to be willing to reconcile all these times. Unfortunately you're going to have to do a lot of searching within yourself to figure out why you continue to do this. Do you REALLY want to be in this relationship? Do you feel more comfortable in your life when you have a crisis to deal with? Do you feel validated by the fact that he loves you enough to take you back after all is said and done? I don't know if any of these questions are relevant, but my point is, you need to look within yourself, this may not be a problem with this relationship per se, it could be something you'll carry with you if you don't address it. Or maybe you're just holding on to something that wasn't meant to be, I don't know Either way it could help to talk to your boyfriend about this and try to articulate the reasons you feel you fall into this pattern. Wish you the best.
-Jmo
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (7 March 2008):
 Realize first that noone is perfect. I read a joke this morning that was to women about men. It said that a woman wants the perfect man who's wealthy, good looking, caring, etc., the law only allows one husband.
You're bouncing back and forth from what you do want and what you don't want. This happens because you're not firm with knowing what it is you really want or are looking for. Once you figure that out, the answer will come to you.
...............................
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (7 March 2008):
 you cant keep doing this to this guy - you say you get bored or annoyed by him after just a few days? well to me it doesnt sound like you want to be with this guy. it sounds more like you just miss the idea of having a boyf and thats why you go back to him. this is easy to confuse with actually missing him, but its defo not the same. i think that you should really think about whether or not you really do want to committ to this guy - to be honest my guess is you dont. you need to consider his feelings also - imagine how horrible it must be for him to have his gf breaking up with him every second day? think about it, and make your decision - but this decision should be the final one - so really think about it and let him know. because you cant keep picking him up and throwing him away - to be honest i dunno why this guy has put with this behaviour for so long! good luck email me if you want
...............................
A
female
reader, Dimithri  +, writes (7 March 2008):
 both of you'll think that you'll won't be able to live with out each other, may be that's the reason that you'll can't break up. If he's behaviour annoys you what's the point being together with him and wasting both of yours time? or else both of you'll sit down and talk about it, tell him how you feel about his behaviour.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (7 March 2008):
 Well first you have to make a final descision on what you want because this merry-go-round isnt fair on your ex for one. It sounds to me in all honesty that you maybe not ready for a committed relationship, which is perfectly natural, or else care for this guy but not enough to overlook his faults in a relationship.
Relationships are hard work and they have boring patches and your partner will inevitably not be perfect; such is life. If his character is that annoying to you then it is possible that you are simply not compatible as lovers.
Good luck with whatever you decide. :)
...............................
|
