A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This girl that I dated at one point, now who is single and got dumped, and we did remain friends durring their relationship. We joke around flirt and everything, she told me she didn't want to get my hopes up or anything, that she didn't want to hurt me or miss lead me, and that if we dated there would be a chance that she would lose me and she is not willing to (She is going to California in a year, and I am stuck here in Texas and she does not want a LDR). I am fine with that, I am a busy guy, yes I get lonely but I am fine with what she has said. I got annoyed when she said it because I don't want to take things further then friends who flirt. I am a year behind in school and want to catch up as best as I can.Me and her still do things together. She will tell me secretes involving her friends (I have only met 3 out of the 10 she talks to me about). Then she will compare them to me, when she tells me about them (These are generally guys). Example: "They are like you in this way ..." and "They are not like you in this way...". Or "This guy is (better)/(not as good) looking as you". Again that does not bother me all that much. I just wonder, where do I fit in her life? Am I her best friend in a sense? Since as she has told me about a dozen times in the past year, "I don't want to lose you in my life, I want to stay intouch even after I move away and if you delete me on MSN I will come back to Texas and hunt you down". Personally I have never had a girl do this before, half my friends are girls and they don't get her either. I try not to think about it, but if you got any advice it would be nice. I enjoy my time with her, and that is why we have remained friends.
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male
reader, Mr.Joe +, writes (9 February 2011):
 I agree with it being hard to maintain a long distance relationship. Since you two have dated, there can be an underlying connection. If you two trust each other enough to share secrets together that other friends don't know about, then you should trust her enough to talk to her about this. Ask her if she herself knows where she places you. Don't get down if she seems to demote you a little, she'll know what she wants. It's not necessarily being what she wants, but being what she needs at the time. She might be scared or nervous about moving away so she wants to be as close as she can without the chance of loosing contact with you. Basically a half step down from a boyfriend. That may be the ticket. Bottom line is to trust her and ask your questions to her.Good luck man.
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