| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I'm extremely jealous/insecure. I don't know where it stems from, but let's try and see. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and a half. He's my first boyfriend ever. In the beginning of the relationship I wasn't this jealous, and I was more independent from him. But it changed, see, he's jealous too. H asked about my past, I told him about me making out with other guys (when I was single) and he knew a couple of them. I'd lie a couple of times about this because I feared he would be upset, and he was. Now he gets jealous of guys from my past, even if they were only crushes or such things. He also doesn't trust me around my old friends because when we went out we usually ended up drunk making out with boys. He thinks I could cheat, but I know I wouldn't. And he also gets suspicious of guys I know because in the past I was flirty. He thinks I either fancy them or they could fancy me and that maybe I'd cheat (he's been cheated on before).The problem is now I get jealous easily. The other day we were hanging out with his cousinh and her boyfriend (this guy was a classmate of my boyfriend's at high school). They were talking about things that happened years ago, and I kinda felt left out, and also jealous that my boyfriend knows so many girls from before. I've also seen some of his exes and they are all prettier than me and very smart. I feel jealous and anxious that they may get in touch again. He might get a Facebook account and this makes me anxious. Also when he goes out with his friends, or when he tells me he made small talk with some girl he used to like/date. I don't usually go out by myself since most of my friends moved out for college anyway. I don't have Facebook because I also don't really like the idea of people I put behind me contacting me again. Bt I'm anxious about my boyfriend getting an account and when he goes out alone. He doesn't go out too often, but I wonder if that is to keep me from getting jealous. He says it's not, and gets offended if I push the issue. I also get anxious because a lot of his friends are getting engaged now, so there will be a lot of bachelor's parties. He's talked about us getting married too, he's convinced we will marry someday, and I wish we do, I just wish we were both less jealous and co-dependent. What can I do? I want to stop feeling this anxious over things like Facebook or nights out with the boys, porn and all that. I also wish he'd trust me more. don't want to break up since personality-wise, we get along so well. We have lots and lots in common, we're like soulmates. I wouldn't want to lose that, and I'm sure he wouldn't like to either.
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cousin, crush, drunk, engaged, facebook, flirt, his ex, jealous, moved out, porn, soulmate Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2014): I'm glad that someone feels the same way I do. The same thing happens to me and my boyfriend, whom I've been dating for 10 months. He asked me a lot of things about my past and I told him almost everything (I feel guilty because i skipped a few crushes) he hates me being friends or just talking to my ex's, even if they were only one-night-stands
The only way to solve this problem is going to therapy, I think this jealousy issues come from low self-esteem and personal insecurity... At least that's what I'm going to do. You should try ..
xx
Hope u solve your problems! :)
love
Demi
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009):
Stop over anlysing what might be! why do you spend most of you time worrying about what may or may not be - aren't you forgetting about the asteroid that crashed into the house or the lottery win these are other predictions you could make.
when you form a relationship you have to trust the person and mostly they will be trust worthy. What has HE done to displace that trust? You both have to remember the past makes our presence and therefore its import to look back at the past, just don't stare at it.
He has chosen you as an individual above ALL other women on the planet - please be proud and allow him some space to grow - you don't want a man in a box. You (both) are stronger than that.
Star.x.
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