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female
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*rixy
writes: I wonder if anyone could help me! I have a 10 year old little girl and she is slim and blonde and very pretty but she hates looking like a girl. She want to wear tracksuit bottoms, trainers, cap (round the wrong way}. She hates washing and brushing her hair. I get really upset about it. Some days I tell her what to wear and we have to have a row about it, but when she puts it on she looks lovely. My other half says let her wear what she wants, and that she will grow out of it. Is he right? He says she is only doing it because I don't like it. Me and my daughter argue a lot and it really upsets me, as I would like to get on with her more and be her friend as well as her mum. I just wish she liked girl stuff more. She even does football lessons after school and kick boxing at the weekends. Sshe enjoys theses classes and I don't mind her doing them. I just feel where's my little GIRL gone. Am O wrong to worry? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Tim +, writes (22 November 2005):
 well u r not wrong stop fighting with a lil baby, try to respect her feeling it is her life and it is her choice wot to wear and how to get dressed up, dont force her, never command a lil lovely girl wot to do, take her to some designer shops and purchase some expensive cloths for urself and then she will be like wow mom spends so much money for herself, try to impress her by ur expensive cloths, dont tell her to buy anything let her see expensive life style at least so that way u could encourage her to change her choice and go for something more nicer than wot is she in right now
Good luck
A
female
reader, wishes +, writes (22 November 2005):
 Let her express herself through clothing how she wants. These things are just material things and dont mean anything. You need to relax. I do think you need to stick to your guns regarding her washing her hair as this is a hygiene thing. Maybe have days of the week that she needs to wash her hair so she knows and doesnt need to be nagged by you about it unless she doesnt do it when she is supposed to. You say you want to be friends with her. The only way to do this is to start having fun with her! She needs to be able to enjoy her time with you. Do something that she likes doing. Go to her footy and boxing lessons and actually seem interested, ask questions etc. Maybe get her to teach you how to kick the footy? The only way to be friends is to find some sort of common ground and use it to build a relationship. You are a very, loving caring mother, you just need to be a bit more accepting of her. Best wishes x
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female
reader, lady_T +, writes (21 November 2005):
Well I think it not wrong for you to worry about your daughter, but is for the right reason, do think u worry that since she does not dress up like a girl , but more on the boy side that u would not be able to do all the thing a mother and daughter should doing together, or maybe u find that u want be able to talk about something that u would like , such as a cretin type of clothing ( because she wont have any interest in them) . I think that u should let her ware wants she wants to wear, because if u continue to force her u be farther pouching her away from the things u would like for her. Letting her chose what to wear also lets her develop as an individual, so that she is able to make her own chooses. This could be a phase that she is going through ( I know many friends who were like her), but yet again it may not and if so u should ashore her that by dressing like that does not make her make her less of a daughter in your eyes, because you may not be a wear of it, but by forcing her to change herself when she not ready makes it seem that your not full happy with what she is, and who she is, such as the way she dresses.
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A
female
reader, iggyzap +, writes (21 November 2005):
im sure it is just a phase and it will pass when she gets older and starts wanting boys to notice her, just wait a couple more years and im pretty sure the problem will fix itsself. i grew up with all brothers and so i liked sports and all that too. i grew out of it and im sure she will too. Just remember she is only 10 and she probably is doing alot of it just because she knows you dont like it, but let her be herself and tell her you love her no matter what and support her choices. She will thank you for that later
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