A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don't even know what's going on. I was complaining about a friend of my boyfriend's trying to charge me more for something than he really needed to. My boyfriend told him something different that was lower and he was fine with it. So, he was just trying to take more money from me and I thought that was crap and wasn't very happy. My boyfriend started backing him up and telling me how ungrateful I am and all this other crap. So, because I was complaining about his friend trying to take more money from me, my bf was backing his friend up. This guy isn't even really a friend, he works with the dude, more of an acquaintance. And for some reason this keeps happening. It's not always for the same reason, but my bf will start a new job, make new friends, which is fine. But after a little bit he starts thinking these friends can do no wrong and I'm always in the wrong. He's like a follower of new people and then I'm just left here looking like I'm the meanest person alive. He has made friends, some are good, but some of them not so, but he still takes their sides no matter what. Sometimes I feel like I'm not really first in his life and all these new "friends" are in front. I just don't understand why he would take his friend's side, when it's his friend trying to take MORE money from me than what he needed. I'm guessing that since it's not even his money, why is he gonna have a fuss about it, right? I'm sure if the shoe was on the other foot and that was one of MY friends doing that, he wouldn't think so fondly of whoever was trying to take more money from HIM, you know? What should I do? I keep telling him there's only so much I can take and I WILL leave. I'm not scared to be by myself and I'm sure I can be independent. We live together by the way and we have been together for almost 4 years next month. I do love him dearly, I just wish he could quit thinking his friends are the coolest things around and can do whatever the heck they want. My feelings are hurt so bad, I'm just flabergasted that me complaining about his friend has turned this situation into something about us instead of an outside person. Do all guys take their new "friends" side or something? Thanks for the advice in advance.
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female
reader, xxstaceyxx  +, writes (1 February 2009):
after about four years he should be putting you first surely and dont worry you are not acting mean, you just puuting things in perspective. You should really ask you boyfriends friend for the money back and dont take no for an answer. Tell him to stand up for you once in a while as you deserve to be treated with the respect and be stuck up for as in this situation you are in the right
All guys seem to think of their friends before yourself because they feel that their mates were there for them and of course just like our friends they have to keep a certain level of friendship between their friends as their friends will always be there for them, it a difficult to overcome and sometimes we have to bear our teeth and get with it. However, he has to put you first now because you are in a realtionship and there has to be a certain level of sacrifice between you both so sit him down and explain the situation and how you are feeling and see if he listens. If he does not listen then and you are at the end of your tether then tell him it is over because you cant keep living life like that because you will get stressed and be depressed which is not good for you health.
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