A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My ex hates me. We had a bad fall out over some big misunderstanding where he ended up blocking me before we could sort things out. Anyway things have just gone from bad to worse with us sending hate messages to each other via a mutual friend (who I think was stirring things a bit).All I wanted was to make amends with him - but he refuses to speak to me or answer my calls.Is this it now - for the rest of my days? Or will he ever forgive me? I just wanted to make things right - but he just didn't want to know and now he has moved onto a new girl..
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 September 2015):
 NEVER use a go-between. That us for pre-teens. That was your first mistake.
ACCEPT that he doesn't CARE that you want to make amends, he is DONE with the issue and you.
Learn from it and move on.
You can't MAKE him want to rehash the past or "let" you make amends.
Give yourself the closure instead of hoping he will.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers so far & yes WiseOwlE - he is the kind of guy who was always on the lookout for a girl - but he seems to have his mind set on this new one. I thought she was a rebound too - but they seem to have been together a few months now - although they have had 1 big fall out already.
Just wish I could move on.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2015): By the way, the new girl is completely on the rebound. It's way too soon to start a new relationship. Not for your sake, but because he needed time to get his life and feelings in order. He moved in with her to spite you. That is going to go right down the toilet, just like it did with you.
If that's the kind of guy he is, what do you need his forgiveness for? He had another female ready to take him in.
That is mainly to make you feel worse. Get over it. It's not even worth the drama, girlfriend! Count your blessings. A guy his age shouldn't be bouncing from woman to woman. That's a sign of a loser.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2015): You must move forward. Being stuck waiting for forgiveness might take years away from you. You know down in your heart you're sorry. So start forgiveness from within.
He may need time to come around. He has a right to withhold his forgiveness until he has sorted it all out. Leave him alone. He isn't feeling any better than you are right now.
He has his own pain to contend with; as do you.
I suggest you do some introspection and a self-assessment. Think about what went wrong, and how you'll improve on yourself. Think of what you've learned from it all and what you can do to avoid repeating the same mistakes. Don't worry about how you'll prove yourself to him. He has things to workout.
Give him his space and find something positive to do with and for YOURSELF! It didn't work out and went bad enough to end.
Now get on with your life. All the concern and good intentions come after the fact. You had plenty of opportunity not to do anything that requires forgiveness.
Perhaps this may be how it all ends. With him. Not forever.
Life goes on.
...............................
A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (4 September 2015):
 I truly believe that if someone is meant to be in your life.. eventually they will find their way back.. or you will cross paths again.
Unfortunately for now, you must leave this guy alone. He doesn't want anything to do with you.
I had this happen to me a bit over 2 years ago when I had a bad fall out with this guy. He cut me from all his contacts and refused to hear me out even though it was a misunderstanding. I tried all I can but he refused to listen. Then after a few months, when things cooled down, we talked again. Of course, we never talked about the incident. Then he got mad when he found out I was in a relationship and cut me again. This time, I didn't care.
...............................
|
