A
male
age
30-35,
*ewfag101
writes:Hey guys. I'm a 17 year old boy and I'm in my last year of college. Being completely brutal here I am not great looking and I am about 12.5 stone at 5'11'' so I have some work to do on that front. I've been told by mates that I have a great personality and am a "nice" guy. To me this spells disaster with this "nice" guy bit, as from what I've heard women just simply do not find this attractive. The one thing I like about myself is that I am fairly intelligent, yet it seems this alone will not get me a girlfriend.I had a girlfriend when I was about 14 but on reflection it seems that she went out with me more out of pity than genuine affection. Girls never seem to look at me in the way I want them to, but I find it really easy to speak to and get to know new people, regardless of gender. I recently found out that a girl liked me last year, but she really wasn't my type at all, and now I just wish I had feelings for her but they just didn't appear. I also try to exercise at least 3 times a week and have been doing so since the beginning of the summer just past and have managed to lose half a stone. This detail is probably unnecessary but I am trying to become more confident, but it really seems that nobody takes much notice of me. Would you have any suggestions for becoming more appealing to women? I just want them to like me for who I am and hate the idea of having to fake a new personality to become attractive. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011): The thing is, decide what you want to attract. If you want to attract lots of women so you can have flings or be a lady's man, then yes... you have to be an ass. That's a certain type of girl.
A nice girl who wants to have a relationship will be looking for a nice boy. Girls actually don't want a man who beats her or calls her names. That whole "bad boy, I can change him" thing is not healthy for anyone.
If you want to "pick up chicks" then go be fake.
If you want a real relationship based on love, trust, and building a future, you need to be real. And it takes time. Just because your friends are hooking up doesn't mean anything. Real love is a lot different than the drama so many people equate with love.
Because at the end of the day, when he never compliments you, never opens the door for you, never tells you you're great and he's just a bad boy jerk.... A girl gets exhausted. She thinks to herself "why am I worthless? why doesn't he care?"
A
male
reader, newfag101 +, writes (13 October 2011):
newfag101 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies guys it's been a huge help, I guess I will continue to go to the gym and control what I eat, doesn't help I work part-time at McDonalds though 0_o haha
But seriously thanks for the time you've taken to help me out here, it's much appreciated :)
...............................
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (13 October 2011):
 I notice u pal and admire your maturity. Western women in general hate the nice guy. Flowers romance generosity... hell i dont even hold doors or pick up their tampons out if their purses anymore lol. These women like to be teased joked with poked fun at and rarely complimented. Sound bs? It isnt. I was once a bigger guy and still am but have changed my physique to help with confidence and to use my body to attract women first not my personality. Ill refer u to david deangelo a nice guy who turned semi asshole to attract women. Hes had massive success. google him. Youre on the right track..u hafta adapt to what women like and not stick to who u r. This isnt a fairy tale kid changing who u r isnt bad as long as u base the decision on logic and not emotion as that will distort ur thinking. Good luck. Hit those weights hard and take out any frustration youve had in the gym. Youll have broads on their knees before you know it lol
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2011): First off, you don't have to fake a new personality at all to find a woman. Just because you're a "nice" guy doesn't mean you can't find a woman, either. And building confidence should be a goal regardless of wanting a woman. As life goes on you will find that having self-confidence will help in all areas of your life.
You sound like an outgoing guy, which is great. You already said a girl liked you, but she wasn't your type. That's going to happen. There are probably other girls that like you, but are too shy to say so.
What you need to do is broaden your view. Figure out what girls your going after and why. Those "bad boys" often it is their confidence and not their bad nature that gets a woman trapped. They are more like spiders catching women in their webs. You don't need a player attitude to find a woman, you just need to figure out if you the the right "type" for your "type."
Girls have the same issue, except instead of "bad girl" boys go after "hot girl." Hot girl usually always looks the same, (watch any t.v. show and you'll see her,) although personalities vary. It's the "not hot girl" or the "one of the boys" girl that is stuck. Just like the nice guy.
Your only 17, you have lots of time, and you're still becoming you. Don't let girls be the end all, because although relationships are important, the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.
...............................
A
female
reader, lalanay1 +, writes (12 October 2011):
Well, I'm a 16 year old girl, and you sound lovely :)
I myself don't go for guys based on looks alone, even though most of the guys I know rate me a 9/10 for looks, I'd rather be with someone who makes me laugh than who is amazing looking. My current boyfriend isn't great looking, but he's funny and smart and sweet.
Believe me, you'll find a girl who will love you for who you are- you should never want to change who you are to attract someone. Just be yourself and know that you're the best you can be- if you are like others, who will be like you?
...............................
|
