A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 19 years old and i am 22 weeks pregnant. My baby's father and i were together for 3 years but broke up before i found out i was pregnant. When i told him everything was fine but then a couple weeks later out of no where he would tell me that he didn't want to be with me that he didn't love me and we will never work out. We didn't get along for awhile we didn't talk for maybe 2 months but i decided to try and get along and maybe be friends for our sons sake. We did until recently it just seems like we're always crashing and arguing its like either he would get mad about something or i would or maybe its just my fault for thinking i can depend on him to be there for me since i don't really have anyone else there for me. My mother lives half way across the country and my father still isn't comfortable with the fact that i am pregnant and makes comments about my pregnancy that make me feel like crap, and I know i shouldn't depend on my ex to be there since we are not together. He was my best friend for those years we were together and its hard to just move on and now that i'm pregnant it makes it 10 times harder to do that but I know my ex and i will never be able to work again because of trust issues and i hold a lot of resentment towards him because of all the crap he put me through. Sometimes i get these awful thoughts that i will never be able to love my son because my ex will be there and in the back of my head everything that he has done will be there and i'll have a reminder of my ex everyday next to me. I'm thankful that he is working and doing what he has to do to support our son but i don't know how to get along with him i don't wnt the baby mamma or baby daddy drama because i know it will not be a healthy environment for our son. I just want to move on with my life and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy and get along with my ex but i dont know how...HELP!
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male
reader, BK123  +, writes (6 April 2011):
The reality is you and him, do not get along, if you want him there as a father, from a distance, sure, go for it, as a child who grew up watching his parents argue all the time, I have been deeply scarred you found him, and the world is full of men who will connect with you, with whom you have affinity and chemistry. A good partner, and lover and husband, will instantly be a good father to your child, understand this and move on, this will be your strength.
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