A
female
age
26-29,
*of
writes:I met a boy named M a little more than a year ago, at the same time as his brother P. They aren't at my school; we were introduced by their aunt, a close friend of my mother's. In fact she brought them directly to my house one night without me knowing about it and we got along just great within a few minutes.They are both OK. I think the one that's more handsome is M, and he is in fact the one I am interested in right now, because his character is also more attractive to me and stuff.SO... we met about twice every two months, mostly via their aunt and my mother setting us up, and I started inviting them as well. One day my mom came up to me and told me that their parents had told her that one of them liked me (my mother gets along with the whole family). I was excited about this but I wasn't into them a lot at the time, and when I tried to figure out which one by speaking to their aunt, she refused to tell me anything at all out of the fear that I would act differently around them.Last september, they invited us to some festivities at one of their friend's houses. We accepted the invitation and went. By then of course, I liked M a lot more and my mom and my mother's friends knew about it (because I get along with them). We all had a lot of fun, between me, P and M, and with the 3 hosts which were a little younger than us. However during the night M and I progressivily began... um, touching... each other. Not in a pervy way of course xD just physical contact, without being too indiscreet. By the end of the night (around 2 AM) everyone was tired and the hosts along with P went inside the house to play some videogames. What we were doing until then was playing on a large outdoor springboard they had. M and I remained alone on the springboard, so we lay down together. The "adults" were unfortunately also in the garden. A little far away but not that much and, to my regret, my mother's friends (not even my mother!) were watching us, hoping to see something to happen.It was perfect. We were watching the stars... there was music playing... we were laying down... just perfect. We just talked. Or rather I talked to him. He preferred listening to me, apparently, or that's what he said, and he really was paying attention. At one moment, I turned my head to see him and our faces were just inches away. He gave me a little smile. I smiled back. It was the moment to kiss him... but I just couldn't. Me being shy was enough, but I couldn't do it due to our "public". And so... nothing happened that night. Except that when we were saying goodbye he gave me a long hug. But that was it.A few months later (during which I couldn't stop thinking about him and what could've happened that night) we went out with his brother P and P's new girlfriend who is a friend of mine. It was only four of us and my friend and I had planned it to be some kind of double date: we would all go to the movies together, then split so she could be alone with P and me with M.Our plan worked and after the movie (in which M and I cuddled) both of us went to a fancy restaurant at the mall to eat some crêpes. We chatted, specially about our social lives. Then out of the blue, he says "I- I've never had a girlfriend. Well yeah, once, but we lived too far away and it didn't really work...". I didn't speacially react to this. A few minutes later he said again sort of out of the blue (I swear, I didn't ask him about it or made any comments for him to say that) "I kinda like this girl, but we don't see each other that frequently so I don't know..." and then looked at me in the eye for some seconds, and after that continued talking about something else (remember M and I don't see each other frequently!).And well... I was planning to kiss him that night but because I am a coward I couldn't do it. He gave me a long hug again.Since my birthday party last month I told him that he should invite me somewhere next time (because it was me the one inviting him every time). I mean, it's only been a month and because it was December we all had festivities and stuff, but he hadn't said anything to me yet...And it just saddens me because he doesn't use that much Facebook or messenger so we can't "interact" in the meanwhile and today I received some notifications regarding him and I got so excited to know of him... Pff. I just want to know what's up with us. If he likes me. If I should make a move or not. Any help would be appreciated :(P.S.: this may not be any excuse but he is a little shy and goofy. He doesn't "look" like the type to make the first move. But anyway...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cat lady  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 Since you already have a good basis for friendship, how about just letting it take care of itself? You do not have to make any 'moves' at all, for my guess is, HE will, in time, if it's meant to be. The choice is yours but the fact that most of the other girls have boyfriends should not be a compelling reason for you to get one, too.
What do you do when you want to show a friend you like him? Start with that; there is less potential for getting your feelings hurt that way. Have you invited him on any outings, parties, family get-togethers? That is a good start. You can always reach out and hold his hand under the table at dinner. Nobody, even parents, could object to that - and then, see what he does.
A
female
reader, sof +, writes (8 January 2011):
sof is verified as being by the original poster of the question Yes I am 15 already, however being a "Quinceañera" isn't very important because my family isn't traditionalist and neither is the society I live in. Only one girl from my class did the quinceañera party that I know of. So becoming 15 years old is just a tiny bit more important than becoming 14, for example.
And no, I am not being flirty... I am the only girl in my class who HASN'T had a boyfriend yet. I don't even know how to handle this, that's why I am asking here on Dear Cupid.
At the restaurant we were in fact talking about our social lives and HE began talking about his romantic life but I didn't. It was the first time we talked about it. We have a lot of other things in common (taste in music, movies, etc.) and that's why we are good friends.
And I do like him being shy.
The question remains if he likes me or not, and if I could take my chances and "make a move" such as kissing him or telling him how I feel, so he can correspond. The truth is until now two boys I liked knew what I felt for them but they completely let me down. I understand this may not be the case with M but still I'm a little bit fearful of what to do.
Thanks anyway.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2011): If I were you, let it come naturally, don't force your partner into anything they don't want to do. But,if you feel your partner is being a bit fridge like, why not talk to him when the time is right, I mean after all , maybe he's thinking the same thing :)
I hope you make the right decision darlin (:
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A
female
reader, cat lady +, writes (8 January 2011):
Have you had your 'Quinceañera' yet? If not, you're too young for serious flirting but you can build the foundations of friendship at any age. 'Making the first moves' for WHAT, kid? What are you planning to do with that elusive prey when you catch it? You probably haven't thought of that. Now, if all you mean is should you go ahead and tell the boy you like him, that is fine. Just remember: El amor es ciego - pero no los vecinos. (love is blind but not the neighbors)
Being a little shy is NOT a bad thing in a boyfriend! One who comes on too heavy may not respect you and you can't know where else he has been and what he did before. If he is being very careful with you, he is only obeying the rules of good manners and you should be glad of that. My own husband was the same way when we met and he was thirty years old already! He'd been in the Navy, too, so of course, I expected he'd be as one generally hears 'sailors' act. (you know their reputation: a girlfriend in every port!)
Some people just aren't very interested in facebook. I am like that myself. I like to go to a forum or blog and talk with a lot of people about many different things and then if I find a special friend, we can do private e-mails. Why should I want to put my business in the street? It makes sense if one is a merchant with a product to sell, maybe, but not for no good reason at all. My mother used to tell me, "Monkeys' names and monkeys' faces always appear in public places." In other words, ladies do not advertise themselves. That may sound old-fashioned now, but I was a young girl in your country and frankly, I don't think it has changed that much in values.
If you want a personal website, focus on the many intellectual subjects that interest you. Then, it is topics you are 'advertising' and not yourself, understand? Whatever you're studying in school that you like will do. Do you like music or art, history or science? Chances are, your boy companion has some interests of his own he likes to discuss. No matter how much you 'adore' one another now, what's really going to keep you together is the variety of interests you share. You have to have something to talk about besides romance. Try that and give the boy a chance to show you who HE is and what he might like to do with his life.
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