A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I wrote to you guys a while back regarding me and my patner who cheated on me for the whole 10 months we were together with his wife who he never left. I broke it off with him a month and half ago, I could no longer trust him, I felt sick every time I thought of what he did. A month and half later I love him more than ever and would do anything to see him again, I just want to see if he's ok, let him hold me I have tried moving on, seeing other people but I just can't it doesnt feel right. I admit I feel a little sexually fustrated but I can't do anything coz I just think of him and want him, I love him so much. I want to try and get in contact with him but I deleted everything I knew of him, the only way I can get in contact with him is if I go round to his and leave a letter but that is where his wife is still living. Is it a good idea? I mean he knows where I am, well he should do but I can't wait 4 him, it hurts too much. I just need to know if he's okay. Should I get in touch plz help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2009): He cheated WITH you, not ON you; he has a WIFE who is not you. You can feel hurt about that, but your phraseology evinces a fantasy that you have to shatter: the one that says you had something, you didn't. Was he legally separated? You have already said he didn't leave her so my guess is NO. The man is fine. He is with his wife, and maybe even has a new mistress. Move on. Find a man who is available to love you. Letting him "hold you" and cure your "sexual frustration" is cheap, and when he is done, he will be gone, again.
A
female
reader, newbie  +, writes (31 January 2009):
I disagree with contacting him. It sounds to me that u are still emotinally attached to this guy. I sounds like u are trying to come up with any excuse to contact him. Writing him to check on him does not seem logical. Why are u trying to see if he is okay? Has he made the same atttempt for you? Has he apologize for his wrong doings? Besides he doesnt sound like the ideal prince charming. If I am correct you stated he was cheating on you with his wife. If this is so read then read the last statment a loud to yourself. This guy was cheating on u with his wife. The statement in guy terms means that he was cheating on his wife with you. The guy was probably a dead beat to begin with. Whatever you do dont contanct him because ur scars will never heal if you keep pickin at them. In other words you wont get over him if you cant keep trying to make excuses for him. You are a strong woman and I am sure this is not the first guy in ur life and he sure wont be the last. Just MOVE ON!!!! You are worth so much more than he can ever offer you. I have been there before and its not worth the time and energy that you can use for urself
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A
female
reader, ellababesx +, writes (30 January 2009):
 If you feel that keeping in touch with somebody who treated you in that way is okay, then send him a letter. But you need to tell yourself this, if your letter doesn't get a reply, then it's not your fault. He let you down, and he can easily do that again. Women tend to go through a stage when they have been away from love for a long time, so they find the last thing that made them happy and try thier best to get it back, which is exsactly what you are trying to do. Dont let yourself do this. You must accept the fact that you cannot have this guy any longer, he has a wife and you have a reason to be upset with him.I dont understand why you still have feelings for this guy. Yeah, he is probably speical to you, but after what he has done, this is crazy. Of course, I am not blaming you for your feelings, or anything mad like that. I am just telling you that it is NOT a good idea to try and get back together with this guy. You love him, but thats all you can do. If you get back with him, then you know what the pain was then, and it'll be the same in reverse.However, if you feel keeping in contact with the guy to see how things are going for him whilst bottling up your secret feelings for him is okay with you, then sending a letter is absoloutely fine. You just need to promise yourself that you will not get back together with this guy. Some say they have changed, but really, they never knew what they were like in the beginning.
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