A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was best friends with this guy for eighteen years. We knew each other before we were even born; our moms were best friends! The last four weeks, however, he was in the hospital due to a Pilocytic Astrocytoma brain tumor. Apparently, it was growing in his brain for over three years but we never caught it. He died two weeks ago; his funeral was held a week ago. My family and a lot of our mutual friends have been supporting me through this whole thing as selfish as this sounds, it's not enough. I've been spending a lot of time with his family, but he was still my best friend and we were both accepted to the same university (one of which we were going to attend together in the Fall). I just want to know how to move on...
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female
reader, mrs.smith81608 +, writes (6 May 2009):
I am so so sorry about your loss. I'm sure you've heard that a lot since your friend passed. This isn't exactly like your situation, but I want to try to help you.In 2006, I lost my 6 year old son to a brain stem tumor. After he died, I felt like I had too. I took his death very very hard. I blamed myself for some of the things he went through close to the end of his life, thinking at the time that he would get better, he always had gotten better when the outlook was bleak before. I made a wall of nothing but pictures of him in my room so that I could see his face every morning and night. You won't ever get over the pain of loosing your friend, some days it will feel like you can't go on. Other days you'll feel bad because you're happy. But as time goes on, you will get better. Your wounds are still fresh, and you need to, take the time to allow yourself to grieve. Really grieve-cry it out! Scream, go to his gravesite if you want to or can, just remember that your friend was probably one who wouldn't want you to continue to hurt. He would want you to move on and live your life for him. You can do it, just give yourself time! Old saying goes-"time heals all wounds" and there is truth there. I hope you can find some peace here.
A
female
reader, siiLviia  +, writes (6 May 2009):
There is no easy way. I lost my best friend for 14 years and boyfriend for one year. I had practically shared my life with him. After he died my life felt so empty, until One day I found a letter he once gave me and it said something like "I dont ever want to see you cry again. Life goes on and world keeps spinning round. No matter how important he was, you need to move on. Do it for me and for yourself. I love you and remember I'll always be here."
He wrote that after a guy broke my heart. Anyway, Reading it, I realized what I had to do.
Just think of what he wouldve wanted for you.
Like I said bfore, there is no easy way to get through it. Get closer to people who loves you and remember he is always gonna be in your heart and he will always be protecting you and waiting for you in heaven.
(If that sounded cheesy I apologize, it's just truth)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009): Sounds like a scene from the movie "My Girl".
Well, I'm sorry you lost your friend. There is no easy way to move on from this. Just, as is the case with any kind of sorrow or heartbreak, don't let it disrupt your life too much. You are certainly entitled to a time of mourning, but eventually you need to bounce back and seize life by the horns. Its what your friend would have wanted for you. He wouldn't have wanted you to cage yourself in misery and sorrow about him. So, for him and yourself, you must recover.
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