A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I went out with a guy about 12- 13 years ago when I was still in my teens - he was around 3 years older than me at the time. He was the first person that I had ever really fell for, and I would consider him my first love. I sometimes regret a few things from when we were together, and wished we were in a relationship longer than a few months. I feel like I never had closure with the relationship, as we never discussed why we were splitting up - other than the fact he was going to college, and obviously wanted that clean break - it was quite one sided from him, as I wanted to continue the relationship. However, it didn’t really help that whenever we spoke after that point (either online or texting), we were always quite flirty with one another, and occasionally in a sexual manner too. I sometimes felt like he thought we were virtual ‘friends with benefits’ in a way, as it always seemed to end up hinting at something sexual - I was just happy to chat to him, but I think I also knew it was a way to get his attention and perhaps get him to be interested in me again but in a romantic way. We did meet up a couple of times when I was in the area with friends for some lunch / dinner, but other than that haven’t had a huge involvement with him. There was a time when I’d been with my current boyfriend (now fiancé) a few months (6 years ago), and this guy and I decided to meet up. I just thought it was something friendly, but we went back to his place, chatted for a while then he kissed me (I think we both knew at the time we wanted something a little more than chatting), but as I was with someone else, I felt really bad and all I wanted to do was go back to my boyfriend (it didn’t go further than a 30 second or so kiss). Since then, we have sometimes texted on birthdays and Christmas (mainly me to him), and only once since we met up (when he had a girlfriend too) did we message slightly suggestively and both sent a topless photo - that must have been 5 years ago now. I’ve always looked forward to texting him on his birthday or if I was in the local area, even just for a catch up - it still made me nervous after all these years. I recently found out that he moved from the United States to Australia at the end of last year - I’m assuming to be with his wife as I think she’s from Perth. Since finding out, I’ve felt really down about it and I’ve got really upset. But I don’t really understand why...I’m happy with the relationship I’m in at the minute, and I really can’t wait to marry my fiancé later on this year and build our lives together - I couldn’t find anyone better than him - so caring, kind and understanding (seeing as he knows all the above and still wants to marry me). I feel like he treats me better than the other guy ever would have - but again, I still remember things from years ago, and we would have both changed from what I knew. I even felt bad after the kiss that we shared as I loved my partner, so surely I still didn’t have those feelings like I thought I did for my first love?I can only assume it’s because I’ll always have that love for him as he was my first love all those years ago, and this is very final. I now have no way to contact him (seeing as we only had phone numbers, it would have been weird if we’d been friends on social media), and it’s just odd to think he’s halfway across the world living his life with his partner. I sometimes used to think about us getting back together and wondered what it would be like, or perhaps wonder about a certain everyday situation and him being there. But then again, it’s all memories from what I used to know him as when we were younger. I just don’t want to keep thinking about him when anything to do with Australia is on and wondering how he’s getting on.I feel like I have moved on in some ways, but not in others. I have had other boyfriends after him until I met my fiance, but I’ve never felt this way with any of them, so I can’t really understand it. I don’t want to sound like a crazy ex girlfriend either. I just have a feeling I’ll always have a little thing for him, as he was my first ever boyfriend.I don’t really know what my purpose is for this, but I just want to get completely over him and just be happy for him and his life. I’m sure that he doesn’t really think of me anymore in comparison.Any advice would be great!
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female
reader, Dane-Marie  +, writes (27 April 2017):
 You really need to let go off this man.He is not worth your time and energy.Think about what he's done.He broke up with you,he then led you on by still sending saucy messages to you and kissing you.But if he truly loved you he would have made it work. Your fiancé sounds like a really lovely and caring man who will treat you how you deserve to be treated.Good men are hard to find.Forget about your ex,and look forward to a happy future with a man who really loves you.Wishing you all the best.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2017): You know why you haven't moved on? Because you kept contact and you keep tabs on everything he does. Block his number, block him on facebook and other social media. Out of sight, out of mind. It's not LOVE. Just a bad habit you need to break
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