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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend is the best person I've been with - when he's around (he's at uni) and we're together, he's lovely and I'm so happy. However, at the moment, I'm getting increasingly upset because I've noticed we don't actually do much together. When he's back home, he'll share his time between me and his family - in july he's going on holiday with a friend, his girlfriend and a girl who's friends with them. I'm upset about this but he thinks I'm being unreasonable and don't trust him. It's not that; it's just that I wish our lives were more integrated - that we did things together instead of separately all the time. I don't know what to do - I can't seem to get him to understand this. Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2005): Hi hunny.You really need to let him know exactly how you are feeling.You don`t need to be nasty just honest with him.Unfortunately not a lot of men are very good at reading between the lines.All you are really asking for at the end of the day is to have some fun times together with him.i am sure that if you tell him you are not asking for all of his time and attention just a little piece of it then he will understand.You could suggest some things you can do together or places you would like to go to together.I hope this helps and you are not being unreasonable.Just remember that he still needs time with his familly and friends as well as with you ok.Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2005): It's completely unfair that you were not invited. Your guy is going on a double date for his vacation. It's not a matter of mistrust on your part, it's about his lack of respect for you two as a couple. His friend is going to share that vacation with his girlfriend, and your guy will be left with the other woman. It's a VERY poor choice to go on his part. It demonstrates that he doesn't think enough about you as a partner to invite you to come along. Most women would be extremely uncomfortable with that set up, as I'm sure he would too if the roles were reversed. Sometimes men must be taught empathy because they just don't have it (especially in matters concerning their free will). Seems like your guy doesn't value the relationship as much as he does his independence, or his friends. He may be trustworthy, but how far can that trust go, when you are not a priority in his life? And how much can you trust him when he decides to go away with a couple and and another female. Take a good look at his decision to go on this vacation. It's a huge indicator of his feelings towards your relationship. You guys are young and not married. But, that doesn't make it ok for him to be going. Pre marital relationships require the same ingredients that marriage does. This guy is just not that into you. If he was, he'd feel awkward about going, and ask you to come along or back out. Seems like you have to start preparing yourself for the inevitable break up. While it may not be caused by this incident, it's obvious that he isn't as invested as you are. Try to get your life back without him. And definitely use his holiday time as your play time. He sounds great on the outside, but is probably a loser just looking for fun. Unfortunately some of his fun will be at your expense unless you realize what his actions signify. Good luck. Keep me informed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2005): You have to put a stop to that. Why are you not going on this holiday??? I think he wants his cake and eat it!! I would not allow my partner to go on holiday with his friends and partners and her friend, to me that is a foursome made up and it is out of order.I know you love it when it's just the both of you together but it seems it is on his terms.Im sorry but I think you should kick him to the kirb, he is selfish and you deserve a bit of respect.Sorry babe if this is not what you want to hear.
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