A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've just given birth to my first baby son, but the father of my child is refusing to have anything to do with him.We broke up after a string of arguments then i found out i was pregnant, and kept it from him till i was 18 weeks, because i didnt know how he would react. And when he did, he reacted badly.He told me to get rid of it and that he wouldnt even let me keep it if i did, he said he'd get social services to take him away.I went the whole pregnancy alone, and when i was almost due had another run in with him. He texed me asking to meet, only for him to demand his name wasnt on any documents, i argeed just for the peace.Anyway, know he's telling everyone he isnt his son, and that i slept around during our relationship. He wouldnt even come to his birth to see him once. Its making me really depressed and there is no one who i can turn to. Does anyone have any idea of how to handle this? Its not about money, i dont want his money, i want him to be my son's daddy.
View related questions:
broke up, depressed, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): i'm in a similar situation - baby daddy wants nothing to do with his son. But i figured my baby has me and my family - thats enough love to last a life time, and would rather we spoil him than push him on someone who doesn't want him. Would rather he not have a daddy than having self esteem issues of a daddy who doesn't really want him. Defo read "raising boys without men" by peggy drexler ... that taught me to believe my kid will be fine :)
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (22 August 2010):
 I have no idea why you want this man to be your son's father. He was a sperm donor. He treats you badly and lets you down when you need him most, he gossips about you and then denies he is the Dad. He is a loser and the only reason he didn't want his name of the birth certificate is because he doesn't want the Child Support Agency chasing him for maintenance. The best thing you can do for your son is to report him to the Child Support Agency as the father. He doesn't have to be named on the birth certificate and a DNA test will verify that he is the father. If he refuses to take the test then the Child Support Agency will assume he is the father by his refusal. He is unable to get social services to take the child away. I have extensive professional dealings with social services. They will only remove a child from your care where there is a proven risk of child abuse or neglect. You are clearly trying to be a good Mum so don't worry about that. It is time to stop being soft and to put your son's future first. Babies cost money and this man has a responsibility towards his child even if he doesn't want an active role in his life. If he was that bothered about being a father then he should have used protection!
...............................
|
