| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: just lookin 4 some help on here with my exweve been goin out quite a long time, it started out perfect and everything but u kno how things go downhill. i made my mistakes but i never cheated on her or hit her but i was just a real asshole alot of the time.but now we fight alot and she always blames it on me cause its been my fault in the past, but lately its not even my fault its just as much hers (if not mostly hers). so she broke up with me.now its been a while since we talked, so i called her (i know i shouldnt have) and we had a big phone fight which really did not help. she really used 2 love me 2 death though you know she was always here always comin over always callin she would beg me 2 stay on the phone and everything.i want her back cause i do love her, i think if i had a second chance i could make it right.just help me out here. what if she doesnt call me? what if she gets a new boyfriend? i just dont know how to react and i would appreciate some help from anybody who can give it. thanks
View related questions:
broke up, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok so i should just drop the whole thing about the exes? i understand exactly what u mean, i know there is nothing between me and my exes, but it is kind of annoying when she hangs around her exes.i know shes gonna say "i dont want you to talk to her anymore" but i dont feel thats right because my ex is a good friend of mine now. i could give her up though, ill just say ok i wont talk to my exes if u dont talk 2 yours. youre right though, i will drop that.anybody have any advice on what step to take next? thanks
A
female
reader, mystify +, writes (30 January 2006):
 she probably rang you crying because she does still have feelings for you , maybe wishing that she could feel how she did in the begining? i cant say for sure but i do know thats how i felt and i know now deep inside all i wanted back then was for him to reasure me and hold me and tell me everything will be fine even if i didnt yet believe that it could be.
about the upper hand thing , there is a chance she could hold anything against you, you would just have to deal with that by saying 'we are trying to get past that , i dont mind you bringing it up but only to discuss how you feel not to repeatedly make me feel bad'
my guess is that she wants you to be strong and reasurring with her but talking about meeting up with ex girlfriends is going to add to her insecurities, to be honest most people have double standards when it comes to thier partners around exes and stuff, it dosent make it right but it just means that while she is emotional she knowsherself that there is nothing in hanging with her exes but she dosent know for herself what exactly was up while you were hanging with yours, and more to the point she had no idea what your exes intentions were,
i wouldnt dwell on that point.
i would just say if you want her back be warm and kind and reasurring with her and dont talk about your exes
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe just called me again, we talked fine for about 10 minutes, until i mentioned that i had talked 2 my EX girlfriend while we were broken up. she got so mad and jealous. but while we were broken up, she happened to go 2 her ex boyfriends house to hang out with him and some other friends, as well as going to another guys house. i know she is not intersted in either of them, but hey i am not intersted in my ex either. what is she thinking? she cant put double standards on me and say its reasonable. how should i react??
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks, the thing is that i was having problems, me being an ass lasted 4 2 or 3 months at the most, in which time i would yell and get real upset over the stupidest things, but it never got that serious. your situation however seems just like mine, she was in complete awe of me when we met she would show me love like i have never seen before this girl was pressed you know. i just dont think ive completely ruined it by being the way i was, because like i said it never got physical or anything beyond yelling. she just called me crying and said she still loves me, but then she said 'i dont know why i called im gonna go now'. i dont get it if she doesnt love me y is she so sad. or does she? or is she trying to mkae me feel bad? should i call her back? it seems like i should, but theres a 90% chance that when i do, she will suddenly think she was the upper hand and she WILL use it against me. if anyone can answer by tonight i would appreciate it i dont know whether to call or not. thanks
...............................
A
female
reader, mystify +, writes (30 January 2006):
when i first met my husband i really adored him, like he all that ever mattered but like you say he just was a complete arsehole to me and i kept trying and trying untill one day it just went too far and i stopped loving him, (i stayed with him cos i was pregnant) but he slept int the spare room & it took a good month before i started to feel for him again but i have to admit im still searching for how to get back that complete awe i used to have for him , he still has it for me and it can get us down sometimes but we are trying because we both want it!
so i have to say i think if you want to win her back first of all she has to be willing to let you back into her life, and THEN you have to take it at her pace doing what you can to win back her trust.
but i would bear in mind what i have said about how hard it is to get it back to the way it first was and if could be a better choice for you to move on
...............................
|
