A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi EveryoneIm a 21 year old woman, i have a three year old little boy, i have been single for a while due to breaking up with my son's father, it was a pretty messed up relationship with him being very jelouse and controlling, also him bedding other women. I decided to leave him and have been free of him for a year now, got myself and my son a nice home and myself a job to pay the bills. but its got to the point now that im so lonely, i have friends and go out with them from time to time but they are all settled in relationships. im thinking maybe it is time for me to meet someone new, i would love to meet someone who will actually love me. since being single i have been very judgemental on men as i now think they are all the same, and when im out i wont approach men as i can be quite shy and worry what they will think. i get alot of attention from men when out but its always not the type of men im attracted to. also im worried that another man wouldnt be interested in me as im a single mum who works as a waitress. can you give me some advice on how to meet someone new, friends have said to try dating sites but ive heard that alot of the men on them are creepy and just looking for sex. i just want a man i can get to know, go on alot of dates and someone who is not just after sleeping with me. i have a great personality and am attractive. so why cant i find anyone?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 March 2013):
I think that I may recommend for you that you look into board gaming (if you PM me your location I can find what’s close to you as we have chapters all over the world although the bulk of gamers are here in the USA) Gaming folks are very accepting of shy folks or awkward folks. We tend to be lousy with social skills but great with problem solving and unconditional acceptance. Also it’s family friendly as your son gets older…. I met my husband board gaming.
I also think that sometimes we need a bit of confidence and maybe a bit of therapy can help you find that…. Confidence is sexy….if you keep to yourself because you are shy and afraid of getting hurt, then folks will pick up on that.
Board gaming… you can be shy and not know what you are doing and folks (mostly men I would say it’s about 75% men) are HAPPY to teach you…
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmy son goes to his dads every weekend, and no i dont really have any hobbies other than working :( it would be nice to start a hobbie i just dont know how to put myself out there, as i am quite a shy person and think some people mistake it as ignorant and i find that not many people approach me not even girls so i think to myself "what vibe am i giving because no one comes near me" and i think what is wrong with me? so what am i doing wrong? i take alot of care of my appearance, hygiene, and always dress good, and i am a very friendly person towards anyone i meet so i dont know what im doing wrong.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 March 2013):
if you want to go on a dating site I would recommend a high quality one where you have to pay. OK Cupid and Plenty of fish are free but you get what you pay for.
what hobbies do you have? when does your son see his dad?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013): I would stay off the Internet stuff totally.
Why not try a new interest that you can do with your son,?
Women with children on their own are vulnerable, especially when a little lonely. If you develop hobbies and interests, it will give you more confidence and be a change from work and being a mum. Start off by trying to meet new friends for nothing more than companionship, and that will lead to meeting people you wouldn't expect to otherwise meet.
If you do decide to do the Internet dating thing be very very careful, cyber space is full of players who can pretend be anyone and you need to protect yourself and your son from people who don't have the best intentions. Good luck x
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (25 March 2013):
Give Internet dating a go, there are many dodgy men on there but there are also some good ones. It will get you out on dates and if anything will give you something to laugh about with your mates!
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