A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have just split up from my boyfriend of 7 years, he was my first love. We have broken up in the past but realised we couldnt live without each other and got back together. (we split for 3 months, he came back and i had kind of moved on but he hadnt so we gave it another shot) But i know this time is over for good.For the last 3 years he has been living with me and my family so this break up seems even more trumatic than before. I think we both have been feeling like this split was going to happen for the last year but yeaterday we had a arguement and i told him to move out which he didnt question, he just stormed out and came to collect his stuff hours later. I know its the right thing as we were making each other miserable as well as not communicationg like we used to, he says he loves me but i dont love him and say i love him but he doesnt love me. When he came to collect his stuff he didnt want to talk to finalise everything, he said he didnt have the time and looked quite emotionless wheras i was holding back the tears the whole time! All he said was he was going to miss me. I dont know what to do with myself now, i know deep down it was the right thing to do but i feel so terrible at the moment, lost, empty and scared of how am i am going to cope with life without him. Do you think he feels the same? i feel its easier for him as he hasnt got the memories at his house like i have at mine because he lived with me. I feel like he has moved back home and will forget me while im left here with all the constant reminders of our relationship.Do you think he is feeling as bad as i am? do men mourne the loss of a relation like women do? Its just so sad that we wont have the life together that we had planned. (we were engaged and hoping to get our own place) I feel like he hasnt got a care in the world while im here in bits. Id prefer to talk though our feelings then part not just leave it like this, why doesnt he feel the same? Why are men so harsh when it comes to break ups, its seems like he just doesnt care.Im sorry for this being so long, i just ned to write down my feelings.Thank you for taking the time to read this, any thoughts or advice will be very much appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Star_07  +, writes (17 July 2008):
 Being with him for 7 years, of course you are going to feel some loss. You were used to him being by your side, especially living with him.
I think men experience this feeling of loss/emptiness, but they dont deal with it in the same way. Maybe he wasnt emotional in front of you, but believe me, Im sure he was emotional. He may cry or he might get angry, however he expresses himself, he will probably do it privately.
Men are not conditioned to allow themselves to look vulnerable so they may act like they are emotionless or strong but inside, he may be falling apart.
Since you feel this is the best for the both of you, I hope that you take some time with yourself and really work on your own happiness. You must remain strong through this process and dont worry, crying is okay and feeling lonely is normal but you will get through this, Im sure of that.
Talk to your friends/family, Im sure they will be there to support you and help you along your journey!
Take Care!
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