A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:There is this guy that I have been in love with for like forever! But for reasons I really do not want to go into it would simply NEVER be possible for us to be together because of complicated reasons that would have adverse consequences - so simply NOT possible! Anyway so because of this I have never let my feelings be known to him and have fancied him for all these years in secret. I have gone on to have bfs etc but every time I see this guy still even after all these years my heart sinks. And it is simply not possible to cut him otu of my life completely and not see him because of certain social reasons. Anyway now he is in a serious relationship with a girl and it really sort of hurts, of course I knew eventually he would settle down with someone and was expecting it,but still it hurts. I was just told by my friend that they invited him out with us tonight - I can not cancel because it would seem suspicious and I do not know how I am going to bear through watching him with his new girlfriend (I think she is going to be there) It is really going to mess with my head. I am not selfish and I am happy if he is happy.....but saying that it still hurt all these years being in love with someone so bad yet never being able to let my feelings known (believe me i can NOT! there will be problems with that!!!) and now to see someone else with the man I love right in front my face. I dont know how to cope or get through the night .... or even for every time from now on that I see him / them - which i will. Believe me I have tried everything possible to get over these feelings, and no matter what I do, all I have to do is see him and my heart melts each time - for nearly 10 yrs now! Please help with some advice and tips! I am going to have to see him tonight and its making me so upset already and just need to learn how to deal with or get over all this once and for all !! Help anyone?!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sappygirl  +, writes (12 September 2008):
 If you are feeling this strongly for him, I think you should cancel dinner tonight. The best way to get over someone is distance yourself from them. It's going to be hard if you go tonight, and worse you have to act like your having a great time when you are dying inside.
Since you say it's impossible for you to be together and you can never tell him your feelings.
You have to accept that he's not the one and move on with your life.
He can still hold a special place in your heart, but try to move on. By keeping yourself busy, making new friends outside of both your circles and date other people.
You'll find someone special someday.
Sometimes in life we can't be with the one that we love,
but that doesn't mean that more than one love doesn't come in your life.
Again, the best way to get over him is not see him until you are over him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): hi there i would really like to help but the fact that u wont say what the real reason is is to y u cant be with him dose not help me,,, i feel that the only way u will overcome these feelings is to let them out... is it possible u caould tell me more of the story as i reall wanna help.. as my heart goes out to u.xxx
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