A
female
age
36-40,
*aging Peace
writes:I have been dating a man (long distance) for about a year now. It started out as an online relationship, but we have met plenty of times, and he is currently working on saving money (as am I) so that we can move in together in the future. Now, we talk EVERY night on skype (video and voice calls) for a few hours.Things have been really well, but lately I find myself becoming short tempered with him. I'm a 24 year old woman, and I know that when I get upset with him usually it's for a silly reason. For example, the other day I was frustrated that we were speaking on the Skype (voice and video call), and he was distracted and not speaking with me. I get upset over these kind of silly things and I can't help but feel so frustrated with him. And when this happens I just get this bitter feeling and it's hard to shake it away. I honestly hate this, I feel like at this moment our relationship is bringing the worst out of me rather then the best. But seriously he's not even doing anything that I should really be mad at! Just so you guys get an understanding of what has been ticking me lately, here's a list (lol):~ Him not replying to my messages until late at night~ Him going out and not telling me he'll be late. He'll tell me a time he's going to be home, and when he's late and doesn't notify me that he'll be late, I get upset.~ Him not paying enough attention to me.Trust me, I KNOW these are silly reasons. I just need help with how to deal with my frustrations so that I'm not always taking them out on him because I know it bothers him. I don't want to feel bitter anymore. Seriously, If I annoy myself I wonder how much I annoy him? I mean, we talking for a few hours everyday but I'm still demanding? I don't get myself sometimes!!Help?!
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Waging Peace +, writes (24 November 2010):
Waging Peace is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies. I do think it is a result of us being apart from each other. I have suggested to him to take a little breather, maybe not talk for so long. He thinks that is a bad idea and I know he enjoys talking to me every day. He always tells me he misses me, and he always wants to talk to me too, it's not like it's just me making him come on to talk to me. Even though we don't always talk about the most interesting things, it's nice just being connected.
It's a little strange because, yes, we "talk" A LOT but both of us kind of want MORE. I don't think the problem is that we are sick of each other, because why would we be feeling like we want more time together? He always looks forward to getting off work early and when we have a day off together he is all excited about it because he gets to spend it online with me.
I think the problem is that I miss being with him in real life and it's starting to frustrate me so I am taking it out on him? But with our situation it is difficult to meet often because of work and family situation.. so sometimes we have to go a while without meeting (last time we met was in October).
A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (24 November 2010):
I think the problem is that you two talk too much. If you talk for hours every single day...what do you really have to talk about anymore? Besides that, I think it's becoming a chore for him to talk to you because 1.) It's not fun anymore because you talk so often maybe it's become boring and routine. 2.) You're starting to "mommy" him. He has check in times when he goes out and he's expected to respond to messages from you when you already talk aaalll the tiiime. And I'm not saying it's just him feeling this way, but I think you're becoming annoyed and bitter because you talk so much.
So when it comes to moving in...it'll probably only get worse. And this is why relationships are so hard. It's hard to be around someone all the time, and it's natural for the other person to start to get on your nerves. So I think you need to start giving each other some space. I'm not saying to take a break or breakup, but skip a day of talking or talk for 20 min. once or twice a day. Start to miss him and make him miss you. Absence is what makes the heart grow fonder, not suffocation.
...............................
|
