A
female
age
30-35,
*alala123lalala
writes:i recently found out that my cousion who im very close with, was cheating with my boyfriend around two years ago. me and my cousion have been close more or less since we were born as we're around the same age. we've always done everythin together, including both getting our first proper boyfriend at the same time. they were best friends. and so were me n my cousion. my relationship with my boyfriend lasted 3years. hers with her boyfriend lasted 4 years. recently whilst at a friends house the conversation come up about my cousion and my ex boyfriend, to which my best friend blurted out that they were seein eachother for quite a while behind my back, and also my cousions boyfriends back. i was upset. and it turned out not only did my best friend know, but my whole friendship group who i have trusted n loved ever since i was young. i was heartbroke n felt like a fool. my friends keep saying their sorry and phoning, texting, visiting me to see if im ok, and i do believe their generally sorry for not telling me, they said they were too scared to hurt me and they hoped i would never have to find out so i never would have to be hurt. however, now i am more hurt. i feel like i have no friends, and nobody to talk to. what should i do? i miss my cousion, ive told her i dont want anythin to do with her, but the truth is i do really miss her! but at the same time, i hate her :( .. advice please!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): It must have been a horrible shock finding out the way you did but it is your cousin you should be disappointed with not your friends. They were just trying to protect you. And look how its turned out. Its your cousin you miss most!
They were wise in not getting involved. Its usually the messengers you hate most when it comes to bad news. And how did they know if you would have believed them anyway? I once told my sister when i saw her bf out with another girl. He convinced her i had been mistaken and she believed him and thought i was just trying to make trouble. It affected my relationship with her for years until she found out about his cheating herself! If you really miss your cousin so much make friends again but dont trust her too much as you know what shes like now.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): you may miss the cousin but please do not allow her back into your life again. she betrayed you and you cannot trust her ever again.
as for your friends, cut them some slack. sometimes we don ot know how to handle situations like this and sometimes we want to reveal the truth but do not know how. we sometimes mistakenly keep our big mouth shut and we regret it.
look at it like this: at least now you know what your cousin is really like. you know the real her and well she is not worth any more tears really. she is untrustworty and never forget that. sometimes just because we are used to someone in our lives we mistakenly allow them back in our lives but in the end the real tragedy is when they betray us again. then we only have ourselves to blame since we know exactly what we are dealing with but we choose to nevertheless to quiten our sixth sense.
re connect with your friends. understand that they did not want to hurt you. it is your cousin that is the betrayer not them. so please put yourself in their shoes. they knew how hurt you would be and they are right. good friends are hard to find, rubbish cousins, well just stay away from them.
as for your ex, i am so glad he is your ex. do not waste any more time on your ex and your ex cousin.
dry those tears and go conquer the world. enjoy your freedom and enjoy your friends but never make the mistake of allowing your cousin back in your life. once betrayed, never go down that road again. your cousin never cared that she was betraying you and destroying you. she was selfish and she had no guilt whatsoever.
good luck and remember good friend are hard to find.
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