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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I got a blood test for herpes and have both types even though 3 years ago when I got tested it just said i have type 1, and the doctor did a culture of the sore i had genitally. but, i always thought i had both types, and i guess i didn't until this year when i got tested again. but, i never have outbreaks. my question is, i already told the guy im dating that i have herpes both types when i actually thought i did, even though three years ago it was just type 1, but then i told him that i just had the type 1 kind, but he still knows i had a sore genitally in the past. i guess he thinks it's a big difference if i have type 1 or type 2. but i really do have both types, even though i don't have any new symptoms. should i tell him that i still have both types even though he just thinks i have type 1? i told him i just had type 1 to ease his mind after his initial shock that i said i had herpes both types. i'm also mad at my doctors for not saying which type i had back when i got tested 3 years ago. it's also sad because people might think they are clean if they don't notice their symptoms and if they never get a blood test, since they don't do it in routine std checks. what do i do? i'm depressed, because i have a feeling if i tell this guy that i in fact still have both types he won't want to date me anymore because he will be too scared.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhello everyone, i already told him i had both types, then my doctor told me that in fact i only had type 1 a few years ago, so i told the guy that, but then i just got tested again and it said i had both types even though i never have symptoms. the only symptom i have ever had was type 1 genitally. i'm not hiding anything from him.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2011): This thread is crazy.Some people don't want to get genital herpes, believe it or not. They have the right to know what they are exposing themselves to. They have the right to walk away from a relationship if that's what it takes to avoid it. It doesn't make them assholes just because they want to avoid living with an incurable and transmittable STI for the rest of their lives.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2011): Okay well first of all relax. My father was an Infection Control man for a hospital and one thing he did was go around to all the schools and lecture about STD's. And there are a few things you should know. First of all Type 1 is herpes above the waist (cold sores on your lips) 95% of human beings carry this herpes virus. Type 2 is herpes below your waist. It can easily be transferred different ways...for example if you have a cold sore (type 1) and give your boyfriend oral sex then you can give him Herpes on his penis (type 1 becomes type 2) And then he can give it to you by then engaging in intercourse. I think you should tell him. If he dumps you because of this then he is not worth your time. You need to be upfront and honest because if there is a chance he can have Herpes then if untreated it could affect his health. And it can affect both your chances of having children. The problem is when things are not treated. You need to be able to communicate with one another about sex and sexual related problems. If it wasn't to deal with sex then you wouldn't have an issue with it, but people put a stigma because it is sexual related. So don't give it that stigma just try and speak of it like you would of a cold or the flu. Hopefully this helps a little bit. Let me know how it goes.
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female
reader, AllRiledUp010  +, writes (17 April 2011):
 I might be younger, but this comes straight out of common sense. Yes! Tell him! It would not be fair to your boyfriend if the Herpes spread to him and caused him pain. He will most likely be a bit nervous, especially if you've already had sex with him. I do believe the disease is spread, right? Bad memory. Anyway, definitely inform him. It is far better to deal with losing him, then to know that he'll be infected as well. But, not all men are sex machines. If he loves you, he won't leave you. If he was using you, he'll be out of there as fast as possible. Make sure he understands the full picture; nothing should be left to guess. I hope I've helped!
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