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age
30-35,
*
writes: Hi,I'm 20 years old and I feel Frustrated. My parents are constantly after me to do 'better' in the university. They say they'll be there for me if I DONT manage to do well, but I know what I will face, if I don't do well. I haven't yet dated a guy, properly. I've had flings in the past but its just not the same. I'm not saying I'm unattractive, but guys don't approach me, even if they do- they're the wrong type of guys. Everyday I get to hear I'm very pretty etc, but if I am, why can't I get who I really want ??? I personally feel its because I'm a bit of an introvert and I am a bit overweight which brings me to my next major concern.I feel SO fat. My bmi is fine, people say I don't look fat. But since I know my body better, I think I'm fat. No matter how much effort I make/ resolutions I take, it just somehow gets disrupted and I remain the same. I feel so SO ugly and guys obviously want skinny girls. So I feel I don't feature in their 'could-date' list. I ,many times throw up what I eat or smoke too---but I know its just not the right thing to do I just feel so fed up. I just want to deal with these feelings in the right manner. Help would be appreciated. Thank you for your time to read this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): Girl, you have so much going for you! You're in college and making something of your life. Who cares about the stupid aesthetic ideals that society forces onto us? Personally, I don't think the bony waif look is anywhere as appealing as a strong, healthy body. Eat well and embrace your body type! Having a glowing face full of health and happiness is much more attractive than being a miserable slave to messed up beauty ideals.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): First of all please try and stop the vomiting thing because it will just do more harm than good. You will damage your body and ruin your teeth because the stomach acid erodes them. Nice huh? Secondly, if you think you're fat but people are telling you otherwise then you may have an eating disorder.
Not all guys want skinny girls, most like some curves on a woman. People keep telling you you're pretty but you don't believe them so your self esteem can't be that great.
Yes, being an introvert can make meetimg people, especially guys, that much harder but it can be done.
I think you need to stop putting yourself down so much and think of all the positives in your life.
You should be proud that you're a smart and pretty girl who is at university making something of her life. If this being sick thing is an issue then i suggest you talk to somebody about it because it could turn into a full blown eating disorder and if it does you will find it near impossible to study.
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