A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiI have been single since 3 years but didn’t go on many dates. I feel attracted to hot guys and have had one fling as well but I can’t stand more than 2 dates with anyone . I met a nice guy and we went on 2 dates but then calls started pouring in and I went back to my old behaviour of ignoring calls and not responding to texts . People assume I’m rude but I genuinely don’t like the idea of entertaining romantic calls or letting someone come closer to me emotionally. I just don’t want to give that much time and attention to any guy. What’s wrong with me ? I was in a long term relationship of 5 years and have had an ugly breakup . I was very committed and dedicated to that guy and used to be quite romantic but why don’t I feel anything other than lust for anyone anymore ? It’s been 3 years now and I’m a little worried about this strange change in me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2017): If you're content as single, then you should spend your time focusing on your independence. If this is something that is causing a void in your life, then perhaps a different approach would be ideal for you. The issue with attempting to meet someone by going on dates is that you're meeting with pressure placed on you. If the guy likes you at all, within two dates he wants you to start investing your energy into him etc. There's nothing wrong with you not wanting to. Dating is work and for desperate people, so who can blame some of them I guess? You have to go in twenty thirty dates to find ideal guys, and within that period you cross ten psychos, three in the closet, fifteen players, and a few that are dating out of pure boredom or are secretly married. When you focus on yourself, and meditate on the specific kind of guy you want, but only are willing to be friends with the random guys, you're more likely to notice a guy that really stands out to you, and be able to make that judgement without a bunch of single guys putting ridiculous pressure on you. You also want to know that the guy you do end up with liked you for you, and not you because they wanted someone. A guy who is willing to meet with only a friendship offered are more likely opposed to games.Being single isn't that bad. I was single for most of my twenties. I'm going on thirty now and have managed to double my achievements, find myself, round out my kids etc. Sometimes guys who never gave me a second thought in highschool flood my inbox today but I'm looking for a family man and no guy can come walking along and within a week be the guy I intend to invest in, sleep with, or have in my kids life. I've been busy making my home what I want it to be, and the guy who will fit good into my well established happy life has to show that side of himself to me. Guys who enjoyed two dates and are ready to spend every day together with no regards to your schedule and priorities, hobbies, personal time, they just don't comprehend that. I don't think there's anything wrong with you at all. The market sucks so when you find a good guy, keep him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2017): Great qualities to have actually. You sound like you put yourself first, you are independent, and strong. Therefore, men come flocking to you. I need some of that..
The hurt of your relationship probably scarred you. I suggest meditation to help you get back to you.
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