A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So i had a relationship with a girl for 2 and a half years and got totally fucked over by her, and am finally at a stage where i think i'm ready to move on. after about 6 months.I'm in my final year of uni, and have been interested in this one girl for most the time i've been here, 3 years. while i was with my ex, i almost cheated on her with this girl i like. i have stayed round this girls house 6 times since i've been here, in which 4 of those times we've kissed when were drunk. out at clubs we always end up talking all night etc. a few weeks ago i slept with her which ofc i am over the moon about. and today i invited her out and we spent all day doing random things, went shopping, went cinema and had some coffee. in which she shnugled upto me in the cinema for abit and we linked arms and she let me hold her waist when i walked her home.We've always had a very banterous relationship, insulting eachother and just generally being mean to eachother lol.However she always takes like all day to reply to my texts, if she replies at all.She refused to kiss me tonight when i walked her home, she said "im not going to kiss you, were just friends!" and then i grabbed her, we both leaned in and she pulled away laughing to herself and went byeee! thanks for today! i asked her about relationships and she said "have you ever seen me in a serious relationship?" and explained she gets bored. and doesn't do 'dates' and that today wasn't a 'date' that were just hanging out. so it's quite clear to me that she doesn't want a relationship. though today she told me about some other dates shes been on, and that she had a bf for a year before uni. But then why is she always flirting with me, letting me hold her hand and kiss her and even sleep with her? So i am getting very mixed signals and am quite confused because i do actually like her, and it just feels normal, like shes my gf. even if she isn't up for a relationship, i'd quite like to see her more often, as at the moment i only see her once every few weeks. and i can't talk to her about relationships too much cos she doesn't like it. though i have asked her if she likes me and she said "i wouldn't be spending all this time with you if i didn't?"She knows all about my ex girlfriend and i have a bad reputation for being abit of a manslag i guess. and shes very concious about what other people think of her.I just don't know whether she's playing hard to get and teasing me.isn't interested at allor wants to be like just friends, or friends with benefits?I just don't want to get hurt again, because it seems that's all women do to me. since my ex i've slept with a fair few women and pulled a few 100..it's amounted to nothing. they've either been pyschos (for instance one slept with me, started texting me saying she likes me, invited me to see her and then got drunk and pulled 4-5 guys infront of me and went home with one, then tried to tell me in the morning she couldn't remember?) i don't get why i attract such crazies, but i generally like this one girl and i can't get her out of my head.Other guys say to me how they envy that i am so confident and would be happy just sleeping with lots of random girls and whatever. but i think i'm more of a relationship guy at heart. i just get so obsessed with girls i like and i can't help it, and get so worried at why they arent replying etc, very neurotic, lol. and it gets me quite down because all girls want to do is 'use' me.and everyone says girls get attached after sex, and that guys are so horrible and use women etc, but it always seems the other way round for me?anywayAny info or opinions on where i should go with this girl would be nice!cos she is actually perfect in my eyes, for what i like.Thanksx
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drunk, ex girlfriend, flirt, friend with benefits, move on, my ex, teasing, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rivi  +, writes (7 February 2011):
Well you should either email or text her [ or maybe even handwrite a note just to make a change ] in which you explain what you say here about wanting her for more than just sex and will she please at least think about giving it a try ?Stress you aren't joking and hope she'll reply in serious vein.If she says no accept it's not going to work with her and maybe give the whole other sex thing a rest for 6 months and concentrate on getting your graduation thru.Then in the summer have a change of scene - eg long or working vacation somewhere far away - and a re-think. Maybe somewhere new where your history isn't known a girl you like might take you seriously.And if you have had all those girls you claim you could also use the time to get checked out for all known stds.
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