A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Should I leave my boyfriend?I have been going out with my boyfriend for over a year now, and despite him being what alot of people would describe as the 'perfect boyfirend' all i can think about is how much i don't want to be with him anymore.He is kind, does anything i want, buys me things, puts up with my, at times eratic, behaviour. And i know he loves me, well he tells me often enough, and i also know he finds me attractive etc. and still fancies me like anything. But i just can't help it..i don't think i feel the same.He has all these annoying things that he does, that most people probably won't find annoying, but i find intensely aggravating. He is so immature, and sometimes i recoil when he tries to hug me or kiss me becasue i just can't bare him constantly doing it. I hate him constantly telling me he loves me, partly becasue i don't see why he should feel this way. I am the worst girlfriend ever, i am miserable and don't show him any real affection anymore. I just can't. I feel like he is this puppy following me around, and the only reason he puts up with my mood swings is because he is scared he won't get another girlfriend. I look at him sometimes and he sickens me, the way if i just get up to go to the toilet he has to look at me as i'm leaving the room and then again right until i get back into bed. I refuse to look at him in the face when he does this as i know he just wants attention, he is like a pathetic child.I don't find him funny at all, his jokes and humour are terrible, peurile and embarrassing. Nor do i find him interesting. I feel the rlationship is a burden.He however thinks it is the best relationship in the world, he is already talking about buying a house (near his parents, who he currently still lives with) and moving me into to it after i finish my degree. And getting a dog. I don't want to settle down like that already, i'm still young. The thought of living with him, round the corner from his parents and grandparents with a bloody dog, for the rest of my life terrifies me. I feel as though he has planned my entire life for me. I want things to be fresh and exciting, i want the future to be uncertain and scary, but at the same time filled with the possibility of anything.Not stuck somehwere i don't want to be with someone i don't think i love. But i just don't feel like i can leave him, we have the same friends, and it would be so bad if i did. But at the same time it isn't fair to string him along for another year until i do feel i am able to leave him. I am so confused and unhappy, i just don't know what to do.He is also awful in bed, but that's just a small thing in the whole problem. Although i do think it is a big issue.Any help at all will be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, cruelgirl  +, writes (16 March 2011):
I know exactly what you are going through. I am in the exact same situation now. I have been with my boyfriend for almost seven months and he has begun to sicken me. I dont even like to go see him anymore. I am so annoyed with him even though he is a good guy. I dont want to be with him anymore. I have thought about this situation time and time again.And I liked how you put it you want the future to be exciting and scary. I think the only reason why we are in these relationships is because at first we thought we liked them and now its more about the security. We are scared to leave them because deep down we are scared of the unknown but at the same time we want out of the relationship. We are both still young and of course it is natural to want to find adventure. Some people find love at a young age. The man that I have ALWAYS wanted to be with I cant be with right now. So my boyfriend right now, he just isnt what I want. I think life should be exciting and we should never settle for boring. We dont feel for our boyfriends like we should. We cant keep stringing them a long. We need to get out of the relationship, as fast as possible. If your friends dont accept your choice to seperate from him then they are not real friends. But its not their life to live. We gotta do what makes us happy. We have to get out of these relationships. Email me and let me know what happens, ill do the same!!! Good luck:) [email address blocked]
p.s. we are smart for not wanting to settle. instead we want something unknown. you only live once lets find real love:)
A
female
reader, alexis23 +, writes (16 August 2010):
 I completely agree with Zayla80
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): ti was exactly my sitution around 3 months ago. Just decide what is right for YOU. If ti doesnt feel right its not meant to be. You dont owe him a relationship. if you decide youdont want to be with him all you owe him is to let him down as kindly as possible. He will be upset and may try to convince you to change your mind but just remember the decision is yours, and you clearly do not want to be with him any more. Just be as kind as you can, explain the situation to him. You are allowed to change your mind and decide you dont want to be with him
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A
male
reader, 2timesyou +, writes (15 August 2010):
I think that you should do one of two things and do it soon.
1) You could talk to him about all the things you find wrong with your relationship. If you know he really loves you then you at least owe him a chance to make things better for you. And this way everything is out in the open and if things don't work out he might feel the same.
2) Just break up with him. It sounds like you really don't want this relationship anymore if you don't want to fix it you need to just end it now. The longer you wait the worse it will be when it finaly happens. Even if you have the same friends you will just have to explain your side of it and hope for the best.
Best of luck to you hope you find a way to become happy again
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): Tell him to he needs to change his ways. You want a man who gets drunk and abuses you now and again so you can feel the tension when you make up and have a good session. He`s boring and far too reliable. Tell him he should let you down once in a while and he should be so aggressive you are too scared to say anything. The part what is the biggest let down is he cant find another girlfriend. How is he supposed to cheat? I would tell him to buck his ideas up,otherwise he wont have a girlfriend. Maybe he needs a good spell in jail to toughen him up?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): just be honest and tell him your not feeling it too the more he falls in love the worse it will be to end it and you only live once cant live it a lie just cause you both know same friends got to go on what you feel if hes not for you then your going to have to tell him not fair on both of you...good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): Well, thats some list you have there of all the things you don't like about him. I don't understand why you feel you can't finish with him. Set him free and let him find someone else.
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A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (15 August 2010):
 Then how did you manage to stay with him for over a year? Being honest with him would break his heart, but it's the best he can do. I'm sure he puts up with you not because he can't get a girlfriend, but he thinks you have anything he's ever asked for in a woman.
Unfortunately, you don't seem to enjoy his attentions, but you know, there are lots of women who crave for what you have (I'm one of them), they want to be shown love, affection, hugs, words just to feel secure about the relationship. You don't seem to appreciate it.
On the other hand, he's obviously smothering you. Maybe the thought of settling with him makes you puke, but you could tell him that you want to wait some more, that you don't like others to plan your life. Be honest with him. In that case, if he doesn't show any consideration, it's time to show him you didn't joke.
Or you could talk to his parents, telling them, in a casual conversation, that you don't think you'd be able to adapt to a marriage life so young, talk about responsibilities, how hard is to get in charge with households and that you simply want to enjoy youth. YOUTH is the greatest moment in human life and you want to taste its every single bit. Follow their reactions and try to make them understand.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): Leave the guy please and don't waste anymore of his time. If the truth be told, you never loved him to begin with...you probably just liked the fact that you could trust him to honest, faithful and good to you BUT that isn't enough as you have not fell in love with this guy and you never will.
If you leave him, don't try to blame anything on him ok? And don't tell him that you want to be friends either...just move on, delete his number, and let him be. Don't try to creep back into his life when you find yourself with a guy who treats you like pure crap. Don't worry about the friends you share, don't worry about him being hurt because, I am certain he is already hurt by your erratic behavior towards him. Just tell him truth and end the relationship ASAP.
You are not staying with this guy b/c of the friends you guys share and that you feel "sorry" for him...you stay b/c the relationship is safe, secure and you know you got a great guy, so lets not take the self right. route please......just get yourself out of this situation regardless of what anyone says.
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