A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My best friend and I have known each other for seven years. He is five years younger to me, though we have never felt the difference in any way. Lately the past year we have been hanging out a lot, almost every other day. Around 6 months ago i sensed our interaction changing, and was loaded with chemistry. Nonetheless I avoided indulging my interest out of fear that it was just banter. Two months ago he came home drunk and asked me to lie next to him, at which point i said to him that I was not into a one night stand with him and sent him home saying he was too drunk. He texted an apology next morning and ignored me for five days (which is unusual) but then when I texted him, he came over, we spoke about it we agreed there was attraction but he said the chemistry was based on high levels of comfort, which may not be a good thing. I nodded and let it pass.A month ago over a drunken night, with all playing on my mind, I told him I wanted to kiss him, which then we did and next morning after some sleep also had sex. Right after it he said he could not handle a relationship and that I was too precious to lose as a friend. I again nodded writing it off, but really couldn;t get it off my mind. Another month passed we hung out a lot together and since it became difficult for me, a week ago I sent him a mail saying that I understood that he doesn't like me in return and I respect his opinion, but since I do, its best we don't meet a while. And when I am feeling okay about the situation and can be just friends, I will call.He landed up the next morning at my door step and I have never been this awkward as I felt that day. I told him I cannot see him right now, so he made some excuse of needing some medicine for something, which I gave to him. As he left he said "I am out of town for ten days, But I want you to call me in ten days?" to which I did not respond and he left. I then got a message from him apologising for the intrusion and that he hopes to see me soon. And I just don't understand what he wants. I wrote him the mail to get out of it and move on. friends of mine say he has feelings but he isn't sure. I am of the opinion that a man is never really confused about whom he likes. Can someone tell me what is going on?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2011): Thank you :) really. I have just decided that, its best to let go of people who have marginal prospects and too much fear. Fear is a lack of self worth. I have come to learn that in hard ways. Why would I want a relationship with a man who has such great difficulty in expression, because if at all there is one, it will always be just that. unexpressed. And most of all. no one wastes time over very intense interest. :)
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (18 March 2011):
 I dont think anyone can really tell you what is going on with him, it seems he doesn't even know that himself.
Whatever he wants or is thinking, he has to come to his own conclusion by himself, there is probably nothing you can do for now.
Cut the contact for a while and get on with your life, dae other people and just be you for a while without the burden of him.Maybe he will make his mind up and come around and confuse you some more.
Failing that you could send him a letter with one question and two possible answers. The question: Do you want a relationship with me? The answers YES or NO. Plain and simple, if he can't answer that then its time to adios him.
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