A
male
age
30-35,
*pLeek08
writes:(im sorry im not the best story teller) My girlfriend and I have been dating for 1 1/2 years now. Im having trouble trust her and also cant stop thinking about her past! Its in my head all day long it drives me nuts. We are both 20 we have a 3 month old boy together. We fight non stop and its mostly me.She dated a strait up loser for 3 1/2 years she said she didnt love him but she told him everyday. I guess their realtionship was on and off. He use to hit her, verbal assault her and she was dumb enough to do drugs with him. I know the punkass, and acutuley hung out with him with my friends a few times before they broke up. I would beat the kids ass but my son is more important to me. I always asked about there sex life because they dated so long, and as you can imagine they did everything possible. That drives me insane! We havent even done everything and I treat her like a princess!She got pregnant her job was stressing her out, I wanted her to have a healthy pregnacy so I told her I would pay her bills as long as she got a job and tried after the baby. well its been almost a year now still no job, shes trying. its getting hard i only make 9.50 i have a house I recently bought, diapers, bills. Its very hard. She gets in her little bitch attitude and it drives me nuts because she never ever talked like that to her ex. But I do all of these nice things, pay for EVERYTHING!! treat her good and I get the worst of her. Shes very pretty now but to be honest she was better looking when she was with him. Its all bullshit and are realtionship is not the same.She has slept with 8 guys I have slept with 12. I havent really been in a realtionship I think thats alot for being in a relationship for almost 4 years. I have slept with only 4 more girls and was single those 3 1/2 years. I could have slept with more girls but thats not what it is all about. I do like to treat girls with respect.She always wants to go out to the club and dance..she goes to this club with her friends and its a gay bar. I dont like her going out I dont like her old friends. Who knows if she use to sleep with them or kiss then hold hands. I dont care if she did anything with any of them i personaly think she shouldnt have anything to do with them. She lied to me one night and said she wasnt going to drink while she and her friends went to the club. well I got a phone call 3 in the morning from the police dept. She had been drinking and got an M.I.P. So she lied right there. She didnt think it was a big deal because she only had "a little bit".She sent one of her old friends who she use to kiss on and hang out with and smoke weed with party who else knows a message on facebook and said hey i just had a dream about you, you had blonde wavy hair blah blah blah, he sends one back saying something like mayb we had more fun or something with a ;) (it didnt make sense to me) she responds to it and then trys to change the subject. thats bullshit if ur in a relationship and some one of the oposite sex sends you something like that no matter what u confront them and say your going over the line watch it or you dont even respond. One night at a party this guy she hooked up with ( another loser with no highschool diploma) i guess it was a one night stand. they we goooood friends tho. her pics on the computer show it. Well she had the nerve to act like he was just a friend so I had no clue about him. Well she took his chair and he pushed her out of it well she smaked him in his face, he called her a bitch ( i was in the bathroom) she was all bent came to me. she wouldnt tell me what was wrong at first, she knew i would go to him ( i trained and boxed for 2 years so fighting came easy to me but i didnt like to fight cause i dont want a lawsuit) my temper is short and i was going to whoop this kids ass. She dragged me out and said if I were to fight him I would have to walk home. So we just left. Well my buddy and I were throwing a party a few months down the road and he showed up. So after a few beers I went up to him and confronted him and asked him did he call my girlfriend a bitch. He said no and couldnt even look me in my eye, not once. So as I walk away he has balls to say "Its not my fault I fucked your girl first" long story short I had 8 broken bones in my right hand.I just dont trust her, I hate her past, I am miserble all day long and cant stop thinking about it. I want to cry, i want to fight, i want to leave her, I want to just breakdowns some days. Its so hard being the only one paying for everything, working a fulltime job, then coming home and remodling the house. Taking care of the new born! Is there something wrong with me?..I am a normal guy i hunt, fish, do everything my self, im only 20 and iv always worked very hard for what I want or received. Other wise I wouldnt have a house at 20. I feel like im getting taken advantage of sometimes it hurts. I need someones advice..how do I stop thinking about everytime she goes out shes cheating, or shes talking to a guy, dancing, hugging a guy even bugs me. Im not controling I just feel if u love someone or are married you should not be talking to the opposite sex one on one or in private messages. It bugs me im soooooo stressed!!!!theres so much more in detail I could write all day. Im sorry if the story dragged or made no sense. If any questions please let me know! Thanks guys!
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broke up, drugs, facebook, her ex, her past, one night stand, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, isthisit?! +, writes (30 August 2010):
It sounds like you have some really strong trust issues with her... why did you two start dating in the first place? Didn't you know about her past then and why is it now an issue? If you feel you are being treated unfairly and think you will be treated better by someone else... you will! Sounds like you need to sit down and have a heart to heart and let her know how all of this is bothering you. If you don't have a reason to not trust her (and how many sexual partners you've each had doesn't matter) you should really try your hardest to trust her. There is nothing that turns a girl off more than being questioned constantly by her boyfriend. Whatever she did in her past relationship is her past and I feel that for your own mental state you shouldn't dwell on what "she was and was not doing" in that relationship.
But it boils down to whether or not you can trust her..... without trust the relationship will crumble... trust me I have experience with this one!
Good luck with your situation..
A
female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (30 August 2010):
 This sounds like a very destructive relationship. There are things that both of you need to change.
You say you treat her like a princess and yet you don't like her seeing her friends? and that she gets her 'little bitch attitude' that's no way to be describing the person you love. Maybe she's feeling like you're controlling her. Her past is her past, everybody has one and there's nothing we can do about it, we ca't go back and change it to please people no matter how much we may wish we could. Why don't you trust her? has she ever cheated on you? Without trust everything else in the relationship becomes so much more difficult. She's her own woman and there's no way you should be kicking up a fuss because she talks to the opposite sex one on one.
However, maybe you should stop being so giving financially. I'm not saying don't provide for your son but your girlfriend should definitly be chipping in. It would be good for her self esteem, being just 'mum' can leave some women suffering a loss of identity. If she's finding it a struggle to come across work then maybe she could look into studying in the meantime?
Ultimately you are unhappy in this relationship and I doubt your girlfriend is finding it too much fun at the moment either. You really need to work on making changes and sorting things out for the sake of your young son but if you find that you can't and the rows are continuous as you say they are then maybe it would be kinder to both of you to walk away. You don't want your son to grow up with an unhealthy idea of what a relationship should be like and it's far better to have 2 happy parents who are seperated than parents who are together but miserable and fighting. Good luck
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