A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:since me and my boyfriend broke up everything has been going downhill. i was depressed for a couple weeks after but i've talked to a lot of people and they've made me realize it's time to move on. so i guess i got over that. but now i just feel like i don't care about myself or anything anymore. it's just what ever. my grades have been going down and i'm so lazy and my attitude is apparently getting bad. and sometimes i won't even get up for school.. but then i get in trouble. i just don't know what's going on with me. i mean i guess i'm over him, i've been talking and hanging out with other guys, but what is happening? i don't know if this has been happening because of the break up or what.. oh and btw we don't talk at all anymore. please help! thx
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all :)
A
female
reader, MidtownToDowntown  +, writes (7 February 2009):
Getting back to your usual self after a break up takes time and the longer you were together the longer it takes. Just because you talked to some people a few weeks afterwards doesn't mean that everything should be back to normal. What you need to do is talk to someone you truly trust about everything. With them you should write down everything that has gone downhill after the break up. Even though you know everything that has turned for the worse, seeing it on paper will shock you. Work out little ways that you can start pulling everything back together in little steps that won't require a lot of effort and set yourself rewards.For example: School.Say you got 42% in your last Math exam. Make yourself bring it up to 48% next time and if you do get that, reward yourself with something, be it a slurpy or a new lipgloss.Have nights out or nights in with your friends over the weekend (peferabley just girls) after the night of fun you'll more than likely be in a better mood and able to focus on everything the next day.Also, take up walking/jogging/swimming and go twice a week or more. Exercise not on;y improves your physical health but also mental health.Best of luckxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2009): Dazzerg has a point. It’s okay to be upset .You put everything into your relationship and it ended. You need to talk and talk and talk even if it’s to your dog/cat or someone else’s dog/cat, but talk is what you need to do. Just simply moving on is clearly not enough. What you could do is set aside time to fall apart and cry and remember the good times you had and the bad. Write how you feel in a diary and what you could do to help yourself feel better. I know its tiresome hearing it will get better and you will meet someone else. But you will.Look after yourself.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (7 February 2009):
 From what you are saying here you are depressed which probably does stem from the break-up. Not being able to get up; changes in attitude, not taking enjoyment in things you normally do is depression. It seems to be quite mild here and doesnt seem to be too much to worry about but it is something that needs to be tackled if it is effecting your ordinary day to day life. Also, if you dont it could get worse.
I dont see medication as being needed here; what you need to do is talk about how you are feeling and get it out. I am afriad this will involve talking about your feelings about the break-up at some stage. You could do this with friends or a relative; maybe your school has a counsellor who you can talk too? Either way if you do this I think you should start to see an improvement...good luck :)x
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