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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: she doesnt have poor self esteem...she has no self esteem. no matter what i say or do she thinks she is the lowest being on earth. ive told her how great of a person she is and how beautiful she is on a regular basis, trying to help her out, but it actually seems that its had a negative effect. she starts actually getting defensive, and tells me to stop lying and such when i tell her those things. she thinks im just being nice to her, but in reality i am a brutally honest person. i give her personal space, so i dont know every little detail about everything in her life. ive told her multiple times she can tell me anything about any problem, but she still thinks im just trying to spare her feelings. how can i help her build up her self esteem?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, megadancer  +, writes (7 September 2008):
 Okay... This is a very hard situation to deal with, and I went through a stage in my life where I felt like the lowest being.
The question is, what is her home life like? Does she have cruel or abusive parents who put her down? or a history of depression? If she is depressed, she may need to first and foremost go see a doctor and get some meds.
In the mean time, just keep telling her everything. She hears it, and she believes it, she is just to down in the dumps to let you know. She probably loves hearing the comments. If you are ever in a fight about it, you should hold her face in your hands and look deep into her eyes and tell her very sincerely that you would never lie about a thing like that, and that you love her, and that that is proof that she is a beutiful person.
Good luck! I hope things get better for the both of you!
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