A
female
age
51-59,
*olyterror
writes:2 months ago my huband went to afternoon shifts at work. He then began being gone all the time before and after work. He said that he was out drinking with the buddies. I was okay with that because I never wanted him to feel tha he had to be at home al the time. He had called me and told me that he had met someone else, they where from his work. I was absolutly devestated because he was willing to throw away 16 years of marraige and a daughter. He admits to being the villian in this situation, as he should. I have given up hope of trying to put us back together, because my attempts keep getting crushed. My heart is telling me there might be a chance one day, but my head is saying to knock it off and pursue life. I just am at a crossroads with my feelings. Would you have any advise?
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female
reader, Want happiness  +, writes (13 June 2009):
Hi there, I'm so sorry for what you are going through right now. He says he met someone else, what does that mean? Does he want to end your marriage? Would he be interested in seeing a counselor, for himself and then a marriage counselor for the both of you? I totally understand you, 16 years is a long time, especially when one has always been there for the other person. Maybe it's just something he thinks he wants, discuss the counselor factor, and see where that goes. I mean it's the least he could do, this way you can say everything you want to say, with a neutral person there to help out. I hope everything works out somehow, try to be strong and God Bless
A
female
reader, Floating Clouds  +, writes (13 June 2009):
I'm sorry as this must be painful, but what you dont say is that has he just 'walked' and now you have no contact? or if you do, what do you actually feel when you see him? what I mean is do you still love him and can see a future with him still after he has done this? and could you also learn to forgive him? as at a minimum if you cant say yes to both there is no point anyway, if you still love him and really want a future with him, I guess you have to find out for certain that he sees it as over, and is not having some emotional or other life crisis, you at least deserve some answers, and not be left wondering why the heck this has happened to you, this is his problem and he has a responsibility to sit down with you, and to tell you all, and only then once you have both gotten things off your chest, no matter how hard but honestly can you decide what to do and move on together (if an option) or separatley, but just assess the situation as it is now, this is very raw after a lifetime together... good luck
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A
female
reader, Smellyellie +, writes (13 June 2009):
 This is hard. Advice for this can even be taken in the right way or the wrong way. Do you think that this relationship could go on and I know that you love him but is he worth even trying to rebuild a relationship. 16 years is a long time and you have a daughter which you have also got to think about in all this as if you want to have a relationship at home where you are both struggling and maybe if you do attempt to try it again and it dosent work how is that going to affect her??? You just need to think and follow why your heart tells you!!!!
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