A
female
age
30-35,
*emma212
writes:There's a guy that I work with that seems like he likes me, but he's hot and cold about it. If we're around people, he'll try and say hi or talk to me. Otherwise if we're alone together he'll tense up and avoid me. I'm shy and quiet, but friendly. I smile and say "Hi". I've been told that I'm cute by guys, so I don't think I'm some hideous monster. But guys in general tend to avoid me or literally run away from me. I joke that I'm guy repellant, but it kind of hurts. I don't want to dress or act like a floozy to get guys, but I don't want to scare them off either. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2013): People are attracted to people they can relax and be themselves around. It's hard being shy and trying to open up and be comfortable around a guy you like but I think that's the best thing you can do. Sometimes other people perceive shyness as you being stand-offish or even stuck-up, which may make them tense around you. Totally unintentional but that's how they take it sometimes. This guy sounds like he is shy himself and being friendly to him is definitely a good start, but just smiling and saying hi isn't enough with some people. It sounds like he is interested in you since he tries to talk to you around other people (since the chance of awkward silences is drastically reduced) but if you're in silence when the two of you are alone, then you need to make the effort to get the ball rolling. Find out about his interests, try to talk about stuff you have in common. Hopefully this will relax him a little bit and it can potentially turn into something more. But whatever you do, DO NOT change your clothes or attitude to get any man's attention. It may turn him off (by thinking you're a floozy) or it will attract the wrong kind of attention (by thinking you're a floozy). Either way he won't respect you and you'd be better off just being shy.
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (26 June 2013):
 Hi, you need to build confidence, it comes from with being comfortable with who you are and also being comfortable in terms of what you wear and how you present yourself.
I honestly believe as much as people say you just need to be comfortable in what you wear, it is important to dress that says you feel and look like a million dollar, naturally makes you feel good and confidant especially when people compliment you. Just work on your self image and everything else will fall into place.
Also don't wait to be asked on a formal date, when you are chatting with a guy, just tease and say are you doing anything tonight, if not want to go for coffee and snacks, I don't want to go home to an empty house, would like a bit of company. If he takes the bait, its good and from there you can see if anything can develop.
Goodluck
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