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female
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anonymous
writes: help!!!I asked this guy to my prom, just as a friend. I have no feelings for him and there's no way I'd go out with him. But people think he likes me and I'm really worried about how it will go on the night because he obviously thinks that since I asked him to go with me we're more than just friends. I don't know what to say or what to do. I want to stay friends with him and I don't want to embarrass him but I really don't want my prom ruined by him either. I just want to have fun without this kind of pressure! has anyone been in this situation before? Can you please help??? thanks! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2005): You can let him know how you feel in quite subtle ways...for example you could drop into quite a light-hearted momment how 'fabulous' it is to have 'a male friend who has no agenda'. Tell him how pleased and fortunate you are and how lucky it is your friendship wont be complicated with crazy stuff like becoming a couple. If you say this in a really fluffy way, not too full on, you can convey what you need to without upsetting/humiliating him. The worst thing is to leave it and having to let him down when he makes a move. Good luck
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (10 August 2005):
 You say that you have "no feelings for him" and there's "no way" you'd go out with him, but you ARE going out with him, in arguably one of the most important dates of the high-school calendar.
He could be forgiven for misunderstanding your motives! It's a shame that you didn't tell him all this up front, so he could make an informed decision about going with you, don't you think?
However, all is not lost. You've already written your own answer; you just need to say it to him.
"Jack, I want to stay friends with you and I don't want to embarrass you, but I just want to have fun at the prom. When I asked you out, it was just as a friend. I hope you understand."
After that, it's up to you to be a supremely good friend, and treat your date with respect on the night, no matter whether you'd "go out" with him or not.
Next time - here's your lesson for the day - you'll probably remember not to use people as your social crutch, unless you've briefed them in advance that they're only there to help you, not because you actually like them.
Right?
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