A
male
age
30-35,
*lfredo1400
writes:So me and mygirl have always had an oustanding relationship, the best one of my whole life. The problem with her is that we were a bit to open. we always horse play and be goofy cuz were that comfortable wit each other and sometimes wed throw little jokes around like fat jokes and stuff like that. I never thought it be a big deal since were both very conceaded but nowafter 4months of goofing off my gf is self consious that she is to fat or her ass aint the rite size and dumb shit like that. She runs like 2hours a day and is starving herself and shit because she says im the first guy to ever make fun of her, and says she wants me to be satisfied. the crazy part is i am satisfied all those were just jokes. she always threw jokes at me and i never took it so personal but i didnt even realize she took it so hard until she started acting like this. so now i dnt joke with her nomore and i constantly tell her shes beutiful but she doesnt believe me. wat do i do???
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): I understand how your girlfriend feels, But you have to let her know that starving yourself is the worst way to go on any choice of life style. She will gain weight that way at first. Then she will get very sick, skinny.
Sadly, I'm still trying to figure out how to get out of this thought process. The best advice I can give from myself is...
Remind her as much as you can that she is beautiful, you are completely satisfied with her and only her. She will have a lot of problems. In this day of age, women think they are ugly or fat if they do not look like the women on the tele or on the magazines. It's sad that we have to try to earn up to that to feel beautiful. Your girlfriend, I'm sure she is beautiful but in her mind she is not enough for you of to what she thinks you deserve. Why don't you try working out and running to show her that you want to be enough for her so she deserves it.(Not saying you do) But maybe that might get you two out of this ditch. Soon I believe she will start to question why you are doing this.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): dumb shit like that? I think thats the issue. You are saying that her feelings are dumb. You joke and call her fat, then when it gets to her you call her newly created insecurity dumb? Hmmm... You calling her fat is like her saying you have a little d*ck. Do you joke in front of people? Every time you are tempted to (jokingly) tell her to put down the jelly donut, picture her telling you to shop for underwear in the little boys section. The damage is done. What you can do now is stop the jokes, and accept that she now has insecurities about her body. Don't call her feeling dumb, trivialize them, or scoff at them. They are genuine and deserve to be acknowledged. Hopefully this will blow over.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (21 April 2010):
 My mommy always said don't horseplay with each other because one of you will end up getting mad/hurt---My momma is a wise women. Just be nice, continue to love her, and do not play/joke around anymore.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (21 April 2010):
 Goofing around is ok, but there are certain subjects that should ALWAYS be off limits with girls. Fat jokes is one of them... just don't do it ever. The correct answer to the question 'does my ass look big in this honey?' is always 'you look great dear'. Always.
Fat jokes to girls is similar to a girl joking around about your penis being to small. You really wouldn't enjoy that.
What can you do? NEVER do it again, that's the first thing. Just make her feel attractive and loved (rather than telling her she's attractive), hopefully she'll get over it.
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