A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know if this question is relevant to Dear Cupid. I'm just hoping i can get some good advice.I'm 19 in 2 weeks. Young to some, very old to me. I got my A-levels last year. Not amazing grades (through no fault of my own,i was off 3 months of 6th year in hospital). Got into a degree course that i'd wanted to do.I always said i wanted to take a gap year. I didn't, as i was advised to go straight to uni, as if i had of started working i would have not went to uni at all.Now that i have 1st year over me, i've found myself completely in a rut. I don't want to do this course, i don't want to go to this particular university, and i want to get out there and see the world.I feel like i'd be letting my parents down if i dropped out. I do want a degree. I'd love to transfer into a course i have my heart set on. Or perhaps start from scratch again. I feel that i've let myself down with my A-Levels not being what they could have. Perhaps i've closed too many doors and not kept enough open for opportunity.I just feel in a complete rut, not sure where to go next. I don't want a monotanous old life. I want to do what i really want.Am i too old to be starting to make changes? Should i just wise up and go with the flow?
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female
reader, Erika 10  +, writes (28 March 2011):
I'm 18 years old right now, I'm taking up BS medical technology at FEU-NRMF. I exactly felt the same thing, at first I really like to be a doctor, I dreamed of having a good grades, which I got during my first two years in college. But as the years goes by, I felt that there's somethings missing in my life, I started to lose my focus on what I do. (I really hate myself!) specially when I started to get low grades. Suddenly I felt like I like to get out of the shell and show them who I really was. I don't love what I do!!and because of that I'm losing my personality, my self confidence and my Dreams of being a better person.But what can I say? For our situation, the best thing to do is to Finish our first course. ( specially on my case, I only need 1 year to become a degree holder.)After that, we can start our life, and for this second chance.... Think wisely, choose the things that would really make you happy, because were only given a one life, therefore do what is best! so, good luck with our lives, I hope someday we can reach our dreams. Me? Someday I'll be a good Broadcaster. That's my dream :) someday you'll be mine :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): it's never too late- my friend quit his job working in a shop and is 33- hes just graduated and has gone to work as a graduate aged 34 in japan, hes loving it. One of the teachers i work with graduated at 55!
When people "advise" you, most have vested interests. I was pushed into uni when i was 19, because i "should" go, and i didnt want to go. i was told "once you work you wont want to go" I've worked for 5 years and i'm in uni now, my choice, my life, my career at my own pace. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): I'm 26 and i'm just about to start training as a lawyer- i didnt go to uni til i was 23. my tutor told me that people who come to college later get better results and work harder and know what they want, because theyre there out of necessity and they are more mature. I know so many people who are being pushed into it- but its your life. Even my uni tutors disagree that people who are pushed into courses fail.
Uni isnt like a-level- you get minimal help and told to get on with it and self motivate- and you HAVE to want to be there to succeed. I'm in a good law school and i'm 26- now I'm 26 i'm able to make a level headed and realistic decision about my life. if i was 21, i'd be like 80% of others on my course- leaving in 2 months not knowing what to do with myself. At 18, i wanted to be a rock star, and being on a degree course would have been a waste of time. at 22 i wanted to be a teacher- a year of working in school put paid to that, versus the 4 years training i would have undertaken before i found out! I've had jobs and now i have some REALISTIC idea of the work i want to do and the wages i need to earn. You'll let your parents down if you bum your degree and get a third because you didnt want to be there. You have all your life to work! Enjoy being young, get out there, do some jobs, realise what you do and dont like! Don't let anybody force you, else it will backfire!
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A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (28 April 2008):
 Too old to start making changes? At 19 you're too young to know what changes you want made never mind having made them already.
If you really hate your degree and really dont want to do it, I would say not to. It'll only get worse and you'll end up miserable. Speak to your personal tutor and ask what options you have. If the course you want to do is related to the course you are doing now you may be able to transfer straight into the second year of the course you want.
If not, you can start from scratch. If your A-Levels are not what you need to get into the course then you can do them again through open-learning or night classes while you work if thats what you want to do.
I dropped out of University and regret it massively. I would've graduated this year and could have gone on to travel and worked anywhere in the world next year. I'm going to Australia for a year in 2009 but its not what it would've been with a degree behind me.
I would really advise you to finish uni first and then when that is behind you and you have that foundation and groundwork you can get out there and go to any country in the world for as long as you like. If you are qualified and have something to offer each country you will have no problems at all.
But dont do a course you hate, it will probably lead you into a job you hate and you definitely dont want that.
You have your whole life ahead of you and can do anything you want and go anywhere you want but i would strongly recommend you finish your education first. If the thought of staying in the same places with the same faces for a few more years really is getting to you, you could do summer work abroad somewhere like Zante or Magaluf while you are off university.
Brooke
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): If you feel stuck and want to see the world, then I suggest you do so. If you stay in school and your heart isn't into it, you will not get much out of it, and it all might be a waste of money, because if you apply it in a job, it may become noticeable that you weren't paying attention.
If your parents will be there to help finacialy later, then they shouldn't have a problem if you take a year or two off to get a taste of life. This could allow you to get a better insight on the need for further education and then you will take it to heart and learn all that you can.
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