A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hiive been dating this guy for 1 1/2 and we got engaged about 7 months ago. We have gotten into some bad arguments but four days ago, he was accusing me of something that i had already explained to him so he said oh i misunderstood. and its not the first time he misunderstands. well i was crying and upset and he kept being so nasty..i decided to be playful and that backfired he pushed my head away and i told him dont touch me like that he laughed and said he could do whatever he wants and bam i punched him in the eye :(he got up enraged and took my ring off my finger and fled off. i havent heard from him since and i took his phone becuase it is under my name. i want to work things out we were suppose to go to premartial counseling because we really are great together unfortunately we both dont know how to argue in a contructive way. i always have to look for him and this time i dont want to and dont feel i should always. its been four days what do i do? is he done with me? i know he is crazy about me and his friend knows that he has changed his player ways ever since he met me. and if someone loves you don't they come looking for you? and my birthday is in 3 weeks?? help
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 Your birthday is in 3 weeks? THAT is what concerns you? You just got violent with someone that you were planning to committ to, and you can freaking out becuase your b-day is in 3 weeks, and want him to prove his love for you?
You hit him, and HE should be proving his love to YOU?
I hope for his sake he goes back to his player ways and never contacts you again.
If the gender roles were reversed, everyone would be telling you the same thing.
-Frank B Kermit
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): If the situations were reversed, nobody would be telling the person asking the question to expect the ex to come back. In fact the responders would probably be very outraged & self-rightous with anyone who even suggested that the punch be overlooked when it comes from a male.
Abuse goes both ways. When you flat-out hit someone, getting the relationship back shouldn't worry you as much as the possibility of assault charges.
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A
female
reader, leanne.od  +, writes (24 September 2007):
 take the conequences for your actions.
you hit this guy and expect him to come looking for you, are you serious? arguing or not, you punched him, if he had lashed out and hit you, i'm sure he'd be called a million names under the sun insinuating he was a women beater.
you need to have a serious think about your priorities because you are in the wrong here. yet all you can think about is yourself. is there such a thing as constructive arguing because if you are arguing to the extent you want to learn how to do it, you two shouldn't be together and maybe you have gone one step to far, if your fiance has any sense anyway.
you say he's converted from a player since being with you, yet he misunderstands something you have done/said and you get all jumped up and funny with him.
oh and i think your birthday is the last thing on his mind, he's probably more bothered about the state of your relationship and it has taken this for him to realise.
best of luck
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