| A
age
30-35,
*
writes: I have a friend who gets picked on a lot because people think he's gay (trust me he's not. He had a girlfriend but she dumped him because she got "bored' of him). The "popular" kids shoved him into lockers and beat him up. One day I talking to him (I'm one of the few hadn't ditched him to be popular) until these guys (who pick on him) push him into a locker and he started bleeding. I had enough and went to the principal's office and told when he told me not to. He was really mad at me because he thinks it's embarrassing having a girl protecting you (how sexist). What did he want me to do... stand there and look pretty I dont think so. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): He doesn't hate you, so don't start on that train of thought, even though you may be tempted to.You have to understand image is important in this stage of a man's life.To be defended by a girl (even at most stages of a man's life) is considred by almost all other men as a sign of weakness. And during High-School the last thing a guy needs is another reason to be seen as weak.This is two fold. Because not only was he defended by a woman, he as good as ratted on the guys (dobbing is another sign of weakness, as a man is SUPPOSED to deal with this stuff himself).What you did was the actof a friend. But you must understand how his mind is being set here. Women never understand guys in this way, ever.It's part of how we a programmed to react and behave. The strongest get the glory and it is a throwback to our origins as apes (look at how apes today act, it isn't so different, I'm almost ashamed to admit... there is a reason they all fight to be Silver-back of the group).It's part of growing up as a male.Women think being a guy is easy, but they NEVER have the pressure to be emotionless and stoic and completely tough at every waking moment of their lives like men do. WEmen can talk about their problems.Men see this as a weakness, because a man weathers problems,and does not seek help for them until it absolutely becomes necessary.Bullying is a terrible thing. Because bullies believe it makes them stronger, more manly, to attack smaller prey when amongst others.In truth. It makes them cowards of the highest possible order at this time of their lives. Because if they didn't have their 'friends' (who we all know will abandon them at the slightest hint of someone better coming along) they would be no stronger or better then the prey they choose to beat.The real key is to know how to deal with them. Ignoring does nothing as they will keep coming, and coming, until you cannot resist any longer. It is what bullies do, and something women don't understand.You have to fight back, or else you are seen as cowardly. They key is to make sure as many people are around as possible and choose to NOT fight back.There is no honour in fighting someone who will not fight back. No challenge. And only a coward would do so.The bullies will be seen as cowards by most people from that moment on, and as such much of their power will be diluted because no one is scared of someone who needs a gang to fight one person.And with multiple witnesses it won't be long before you can find someone who will corroborate against the bullies. They will be gone soon enough.Is it ideal? No.Will it work? Possibly. But not necessarily.I apologise this is so long, but I'm just trying to help understand how a man feels in these things.Flynn 24
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): Typical reaction with boys when a girl protects them.They want to handle everything themseleves so they can look strong and look like they can handle anything. But they seriously need to get over that because there's not a darn thing wrong with that, unless the girl is being depended on for protection all the time, because boys do need to learn how to stand up for themselves some time or another. It may have been embarrassing, but you did the right thing and in a few years he'll thank you for it.
...............................
|
