A
female
age
51-59,
*ules1970
writes:me and my fiance was together 2 and a half years and planned to get married in june 08, but he wanted to find his birth mum so i helped him do this,anyways we found her in july 07 and in novemeber 07 he went to live with her, ending our relationship via his mum, i met him on valentines unarranged and he said he still loved me, and we even shared a kiss, we emailed a few times, and now hes stopped contacting me, i know this is cos of his mum what do i do? i know most of u will say forget him and move on buti cant, i feel he is my one true love my soul mate. i know his mum hates me and hes scared of her leaving him again
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female
reader, Serinity  +, writes (27 February 2008):
 Why does his mom hate you? You say he's afraid that she'll leave him again. So she should be happy that you helped him find her. I know some moms don't like their sons spouses because they feel like they take their "little boys" away from them. But in this case she had already left him behind. I can understand his fears of losing his connection with his mom but in my opinion it should't even be a factor. They've reconnected because of you and that's the thanks that you get. If you weren't so emotionally connected to him, I would say let him go but I know how hard it is when you think you've found your soul mate. But it's not fair that he's leaving you for his mom who originally left him to begin with. He needs to sort out his emotions and priorities and if you really want to spend the rest of your life with him, the only possibility I see here is for you to back off and be patient, as hard as it seems. If it's meant to be he will come around and hopefully his mom will too. Good luck and God bless.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): Hi Hunny
Im adopted hunny and I found my birth parents, So many feeling go through your head the first few months, And he has had these feelings of being unwanted and unloved for so long and the rejection side as well... When he met her she took over. Not good! she obviously has been sad at giving him up and now wants to make it up to him but she isnt willing to share and let him have a life love because she has missed so much, And he is fearfull of loosing her again so she can see this and control this. I really feel for you hunny im sending you a link so you can see what emotions he will have gone through and is going through.
http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/familyandfriends/family/findingoutyoureadopted
If you can get to talk with him and show him the link as its natural the feelings he is having but what she is doing is not, She should accept his life as he was brought up in a different enviroment and with even different values and you were a part of his life so she should accept you as if it was not for you they may never have met. If you want to talk more sweetheart message me Ive been through all the emotions and ill be happy to help in anyway TAKE CARE OF YOU LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): How old are the pair of you??? I ask this because of the age range that is at the top of the page. Surely you are both adult enough to stand up to this woman. If he loves you he wont be listening totally to his mother! Try and pin him down and have a chat and find out just what the hell is going on. She needs to know that she is his mother and that only, not his partner or lover! strange behaviour.
take care
xx
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