A
female
age
36-40,
*okutenda
writes:Have known this guy for 2yrs now. He loved me but I turned him down many times because I had a boyfriend. Having broken up with my boyfriend, I sent him a msg on fb, saying 'hi', he replied saying that he loved me, he never stopped loving me. Then we out and on the 3rd date. He took me to this hotel-he wanted to have sex with me, I refused. I haven't heard from him since-its been two days now. Do you think he only wanted sex? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, nokutenda +, writes (28 March 2011):
nokutenda is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWas blaming myself that mayb l did wrong somewhr, somehow but thank you all for making me realise its him with a problem not me. he was only after sex. am glad l refused. Am forgetting about him
A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (28 March 2011):
 He is an idiot. He only wanted sex. He is a stereotypical player.
There is nothing wrong with not talking to someone again if they turn down sex, when that is what you pre-agreed to go out for. It means that you don't want to waste your or their time, and that there was no sexual chemistry.
However, to be so bold as to LIE about loving someone, take them to a hotel on the third date trying to have sex, and then giving them the could shoulder after claiming to love you? That is wrong.
If you are out for sex and you don't get what you want, it is the moral thing to do to end the interactions.
But he is a jackass and a terrible example of a casanova for doing that to you. Saying he loves you to bed you?
Forget the bastard.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2011): Of course he only wanted sex. It's a good rule of thumb not to listen to what people SAY but watch their actions...people will say anything if it gets them what they want so luckily you were smart enough to refuse. The other warning he was full of it was how he kept bugging you while you were in a relationship...should have tipped you off that he didn't really respect you or relationships in general.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2011): In a word:yes. He was obviously only after one thing.
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